Monday, April 21, 2014

MY LIVE, not so really but kinda, INTERVIEW WITH CARRIE BUTLER

It was a dark & stormy night...
I was down at a massage parlor working out some kinks from a night I can't remember, when I got a text. "Look behind you" There she was, Carrie Butler, standing in the doorframe! She said she had a knot in her buttocks and thighs just worked on. Hmmm..."kinky".

*this is a creative writing exercise. No strippers were harmed in the process*


1. Pitch me a TV show idea for us.
This summer, contestants from all over the country will fight for the chance to compete in WRITE OR CRY. It's a little like the website WRITE OR DIE - racing against the clock to complete work count goals - but we'll take a more extreme approach. Know an author who brags about cranking out 300 words per minute? Let's see if she can do it suspended over a shark tank while Gilbert Gottfried recites 50 SHADES OF GREY. Then, once she fails - I mean, IF she fails, - we (the judges) get to spin the Wheel O'Wailing! Will we give her just one Pringle? Will we shred her birth certificate? You never know!
Okay okay...WHAT is really in your water bottle?
Captain Mor - er, nothing. :)

2. Would you mind removing your shoes?
Only if you don't mind me running around in my Batman socks - because that's what I'm wearing. I buy my socks in the boys department, because they get all of the cool super heroes.
I'll let you but hand me your "water bottle". I may need a swig of that to enjoy it to it's max.

3. In you purse is a big fat _____.
...hole in my wallet!
You must be one noisy stripper...ching-ching-ching.

4. Who wore bedazzling better: Elvis or Dolly?

Dolly acting as an Elvis impersonator? What do you mean that's cheating? Fine, fine...I guess hers would sparkly more - you  know, since they stick out more to catch the light.

5. Would you like to party?
Are you serious? All this time, I thought I had to FIGHT for my RIGHT to parrrrtay. Now you're just asking me like it's no big deal? I gotta admit, it's a little anticlimactic...
Sorry, let me rephrase. WOULD YOU LIKE TO PARRRR - TY???
I'll get back to you on that.
*digs in pocket* Would a shiny penny motivate you?

6. In what movie would you beat up the lead girl in?
Well, I did do archery long before Katniss came into being...
*lowers cage over Katniss & Carrie* SHOW ME HOW YOU PARTY SISTA!!
*the girls launch at each other in a cartoonesque cloud of dust. Minutes later, Carrie is slammed against the bars all squishy - faced* D-Did I say Katniss? I meant Bella. BELLA. Bring on the cold one! *Silence* ...Hello? *Carrie twists around and throws a hard elbow* Darn it, Tammy! Stop selling tickets and save me! I was wrong. I don't want to fight for my right to party!
I can't hear you over your stripper coins! What???

7. Do you remember the night in Tahiti?

Barely. I remember testing out the car batteries, licorice, and chili powder for that scene in HONESTY. I think Chibs was there - or on TV. It's all a blur.
All I know is I have a tramp stamp on my back. No really...look. It rubs right off! Now these rug burns, that I'm unsure of...

8. Ice cream?
 In the microwave! Don't judge me.
I'm sorry, but I have to. You just got a nine out of ten. I had to knock off a point for insecurity, or shall I say iceacreamity? No? Too soon?
Ba dum tssshhh!

9. What dress looks better, the red one or...the red one?
Well, the red one matches your eyes after that night in Tahiti, but the red one is so...red. Hey! Did you know red stimulates appetite? That why so many restaurants use it . Fun fact.
*gorges on bowl of creamy ice cream in red dress* What? I didn't hear you.
It's creamy because I microwaved it. You can thank me later. :D
You so earned your point back.

10. I know this is personal but please don't go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to.
Sorry, Tammy. You know I'm going to have it my way or nothing at all. Unless of course, you think I'm moving too fast?
Chibs told me your not moving fast enough. I told him you're not an energizer bunny dang it! He said after Tahiti...he begs to differ.
Hey, what happens in Tahiti, STAYS in Tahiti.
*snuggles with Jax* done and done!


THE RECAP

Whew! That was AN experience and a half. I shall always look back fondly at the mental scars - I mean, MEMORIES we share today <3. I learned that the world might not be ready for our brand of reality  television, but that's okay. We have stolen coins, indiscreet water bottles, and bedazzled costumes. What more could we possibly want? Also, Katniss may have unresolved issues from the Hunger Games, so she's not ready for the cage circuit. Now back to Tahiti, where the ice cream melts on its own!

I have my red dress on, a gallon of mint chocolate chip, and a two plane tickets...ARE WE READY TO PARRRRRTY!!! And take your I SURVIVED MY INTERVIEW WITH TAMMY THERIAULT BADGE!!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Three Girls & Two Boobies...prizes that is!!

I had my camera up and ready for a good ol' flesh-flash from some friends of mine. They told me about these amazing photos and how everyone is ooohhhing and aaaahhhing over them.
You know, because they said something about booby prizes.
Okay...maybe I only heard ONE major word in that sentence...
 
So, they sent me those photos...and their boooooooby prizes.
Come check them out!
 
 
BLOODLUST by Nicole Zoltack
Barbarian-Princess Ivy will do anything to save her people from extinction, even team up with a despicable goliath. But Lukor has reasons of his own for joining her quest & it's not because he want to help barbarians. Lies, deceit, war, lust, love... The world, & the six races fighting for supremacy, will be forever altered, but for better or for ill?
 
1.What's your one true lust?
Would it come as a shock to say books? Seriously, I'll read anything I can get my hands on. Any genre, any age group, fiction or non-fiction. Total book whore, that's me!
 
2. While writing, did you constantly drink V8 & smile at random people?
I'm not a V8 fan, so no. I was probably shooting glares and daggers. Although there may have been a scene or two or three were I would have smiled at random people.
*CAUTION: FREE BOOK BOOBY PRIZE TO ONE LUCKY COMMENTER*
 
 
 
LEMONS by Jessie Anderson
They say when life throws you lemons to make lemonade, but when Ally finds herself in the biggest pickle of her life - stranded on an island in the middle of a lake, fruit & veggies are the least of her worries. Now she'll have to face the harsh realities of her selfish choices, which means dealing with what happened between her parents so many years ago.
1. Squirting lemons in water is my go-to drink. What's your go-to for lemons?
Lemon Meringue pie! Is there anything else to do with lemons?
 
2. Abandoned on an island, what's your fashion statement?
I'd weave some killer sandals out of palm fronds and maybe braid some into my hair.
*CAUTION: I HAD THE PLEASURE OF BETA-ING IT, & IT'S AWESOME*
 
 
 
FIRE OF THE SEA by Lyndsay Johnson
Sharp, sleek, and golden. Like the dagger she has worn since childhood, eighteen-year-old Aeva is all three of these things. But there is something else that this mermaid and her prized weapon share – they are both hunted.
1. Envision your mermaid self. Tell me what your mermaid bra looks like.
I wouldn't be wearing a bra :) Whoa, there! Okay, it would probably be more like a bandeau, maybe made out of eel skin. I'll never believe that any mermaid in her right mind would ever wear shells.
 
2. If you were to sell me Aeva's dagger, how much we looking at?
Depends...how much dwarf-hoarded gold do you have available to spend on such a coveted relic? Also, it has a mind of it's own, so it may shock you if you tried to touch it. And you may want to rethink your offer when you find out you're now being hunted by a shapeshifting demigoddess. But I'll sell you the replica for $500. I take paypal.
*CAUTION: THIS IS ONE OF MY OLD JR & HS FRIENDS. COOL, RIGHT? PLUS...BOOBY PRIZE ALERT. FREE BOOK TO ONE LUCKY COMMENTER*
 
 
SO...if you had a BLOODLUST for LEMONS while there was a FIRE OF THE SEA...what would YOU do?


Monday, March 17, 2014

MY LIVE, not so really but kinda, INTERVIEW WITH LEIGH COVINGTON

It was a dark and stormy night...

When I walked into the bathroom of an exclusive high end restaurant with golden arches, the stalls were occupied, and I was hurting. As a bathroom door opened, so did the mouth of LEIGH COVINGTON, who was mid-gorging on a pad of butter. "Leigh? Is this where you've been hiding from us bloggers?" She nodded, continuing to chew. We sparked conversation instantly having not talked in so long.

*This is a creative writing exercise. Hot actors were harmed in the process.

1.  WWE called. They want you in the ring! What's your character name, look, & famous move?
Little Bo Sleep cause I look so sweet, but I've got a mean sleeper move - oh yeah, & I carry a stick.
I'll remember to bring my night time shears.
Unfortunately, I don't think you'll be able to find them. Not that I know anything about that.

2. Can you do the chicken jerk?
Say what?
You did it! Great way of being a chicken and a jerk at the same time! So impressive.
LOL! Oh my gosh! I was seriously searching online for some crazy dance move. I think I'll make one up! We can rock it together!
OKAY SERIOUSLY...I didn't ask you to do it twice.

3. My bowels are ___________
On FIRE! (EEK! Why did that pop in my head?) My bowels are fine. REALLY!
Ohhhh...sorry. The answer we were looking for was "in an uproar". That a shame. Would you like a mint?
How 'bout a Tums? Or some Pepto?
Sorry I used the last doing the chicken jerk.

4. Spirit fingers or raise the roofs?
Raise the roof baby! Although I was a cheerleader, so maybe I'm cheating on myself.
Whoa. That's hot.
Quite the visual, isn't it?
*holds kaleidoscope up & twists it* Yes, yes it is...

5. Date night! What actors are we double dating?
OOH! Gerard Butler and Hugh Jackman! I don't even care which one I get!
I care! If Gerard is 300 Gerard - he's MINE!!! You keep the hairy guy that'll claw you while you hug!
That works for me! I love Gerard, but Hugh can leave claw marks any time he wants. OOH BABY!
I'll grab the Neosporin next to my mints.

6. If we made a reality show, what would it be called?
Rookie Writers on the Road. (Just think we could travel for inspiration)
Sorry, was filming you stuffing your face while saying that. Can you do it again but pretend to choke? Makes for way better TV!
Dude, I already choked once & you forgot to press the record button! We need ratings here, but I can only choke so many times!
Said the lady that just wants me to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation. I told you...not till you take the mint!!

7. Better dancer: John Travolta or Channing Tatum?
Hands down, Channing Tatum! I bet he's a better kisser too! Don't you think?
*kisses Channing* Yes. Oh sorry, I smudged your poster.
He's so talented, he even kisses good from his posters. Talk about skill!
Wait, why is there a worn spot on his mouth? Oh my gosh. We just did mouth to mouth minus resuscitation.

8. Can you pass the butter?
You didn't say PLEEEASE!
Are you implying that I butter say please??? Channing poster torn!
*cries uncontrollably while trying to tape poster back together* CURSE YOU AQUA SCUM!!!

9. Hobo skirt or kilt?
Or neither? Okay, a kilt! Everyone should go down that road at least once, right?
*puts on kilt* I feel breezy. *drops butter* Crap, you may want to pick that up for me. I did the Full Monty kilt.
Nope! You ripped the poster, you have to pick it up yourself! And Hugh is holding Gerard back so he can't help you.
*pops mint in mouth* We're gonna be here a while...

10. I feel bad asking but did I hear you saying this while opening your window: "And I say hey...hey...I said hey, what's going on."
*sings* Twenty-five years and my life is still, trying to get up that great big hill of hope, for a destination!!
I'm sure the Wolverine Hugh can just throw you up there. Seriously.
You're right! Thanks to your fab problem solving skills, I will forgive you about the poster and by a new one! And blow you a kiss. Have you figured out how to pick up that butter yet?
Yes! I scooted it near Hugh and Gerard. They both slipped on it, rendering them of their clothes. A flash went off, & magically new posters for you & me were made. Chicken jerk score!!

 
**RECAP**
I knew I loved you for a reason! Talk about a serious win-win! I always like to surround myself with positive thinkers who can turn a "slippery" situation into a good one, and you are exactly that - and MORE! So I will be sure to always give you butter to spill when we're on a double date with sexy men. And an uber big hug for having me over for this crazy interview. Talk about the best way to get my creative juices flowing! You are hilarious and this was so much fun! ((HUGS)) - oops! Now WE slipped on the butter. What a mess! Oh, well. At least Gerard and Hugh are here with us!
 
*laughs while rolling in butter* I had a blast, too!  Now shhh...I need to give everyone mouth to mouth & it makes it way easier if I can pretend you're all unconscious. So close your eyes... *pulls Gerard and Hugh up & sneaks away* I am the master of the chicken jerk! But, you still earned your badge! Put down the butter and accept your I SURVIVED MY INTERVIEW WITH TAMMY THERIAULT badge with slippery honor.
 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

IWSG: CLIPPED



I breathe

Exhales of frigid smoke escape me
My lips tinged in blue ice
The ground cold
Frost embalming my kneeling legs

And I'm alone

Tall black spruces surround
But not enough to feed me
To shelter
Or shade me

They clip me

The dark trees sway
Slicing into my bare surroundings
Reaching close enough
Only close enough

To clip me

My wings scream
They scream what I can't
What I don't have

A voice

A voice to tell them STOP!
Always screaming for me
STOP! ENOUGH!

But they come

When they see me try to soar
The dark trees come
And clip my wings...

They clip
My wings...

I breathe

Cold smoke escapes my lungs
Tears freeze to my cheeks
I choke on sorrow within me
My knees captive to the frosted ground

For if I soar
They will clip me...

"Clipped" by Tammy Theriault


Don't let anyone or anything clip your wings. I believe in all of you. Success is not measured by your status, amount of friends, or things you've accomplished. Success is measured by how you feel. Take your passions and continue to feed them, because without those - we are just wings being clipped.



Monday, February 24, 2014

Dang...I'M BEING DOUBLE PIMPED!!

It's that not-so-fresh-feeling. But, I guess I'll just hike up my skirt once more, and flash a little leg at all the Blogger-folk because today...
I'M BEING DOUBLE PIMPED!!
 

My FIRST PIMP is the vivacious, yet scrumptious
to see how she put me on display!
You'll either laugh, sweat, or cry in your pants a little
 

My SECOND PIMP, is the decadent, caliente pimp master herself:
She's here not only to pimp her book
 FATE INTENDED
but my skills as her beta reader!
Dang...I feel so nakey in my red stilettos.
 
Elizabeth Introduces: 
Beta reading by Tammy...

She catches typos with such clever clarity...
Titling (I read tit. That’s bad girl!! Is that where your boob goes to the left slightly? ;) ) her head to the right, Jane offered a little smile

I can go out! And Eve? She wasn’t a problem (at all). She was good dog. I will miss her so much.” (I un-lamed it for you by taking out the lame part. Ur welcome…j/k)

She offers book psychology...
Smiling, he asked, “You got it?” (if someone almost trips don’t you usually say “you ok?” hahaha…I said Trips…ya know, bc, well, never mind)

Mr. Perfect looked at Jane and blushed. (this is me…but all your Coulter men have been manly men…not blushers. You just wussified him with the blushing.)

Trip reddened. “Sorry, I mean angry.” (don’t redden my hunk!! Maybe wince or shake head)

Her heart nearly missed a beat when he lowered his head and blushed. She saw it. He blushed. That spoke volumes, right? (yeah it spoke volumes like wuuuuusssy…j/k. u actually played that one ok. THIS ONE only)
 
She picks apart your words wise (assed)ly...
Trip’s laugh came like rapid fire. (I’m laughing cuz I’m imagining bullets coming out of his mouth…oh crap, jane is dead!! He killed jane!! Maybe change that )

Her heart raced every time his thumb moved. She licked parched lips and swallowed (no comment needed…lol) hard (too easy..wow, she's quite the swallower…every pimp just lined up for her) as she studied him.
 
She offers new perspectives- The good, the bad, the weird...
Kissing the pup’s head, she set her on the couch then stripped off her shoes and her tunic. (oh yeah baby, get nakey)

People in love do stupid things, because it mushes up the head. And you remember what your father always says?” (wipe front to back not back to front?) “A fish rots from the head.(whoa…that sounds gross with my wiping comment!!)

Listen,” Sasha said as she twisted her hair and pinned it to the back of her head, “women make all the sacrifice, they give up everything to be shit on in the end. Take fatty.(who, me?) I bet his wife has spent her whole life building his family and his home… backing him as he climbed the ladder, and what does she get in return?” (a new pony?)

Jane smiled. “Can I help you, Mrs. Little?” (yes, can you make me bigger? No?)
Tracy Dugan was never a mother. You’re as motherless as I am…maybe even worse. Hell, at least I can pretend my mother abandoned me because she had no choice; you just have to accept that your mother is cow.” (ewww…her father is into beastiality??? So gross)

He relaxed his body on his heel as he propped her injured foot on his bent knee. His thumb stroked her ankle, his face looked concerned. “Any better?” (my thought is most people would have you prop your foot up, so why isn’t he having her lie down?? Then he can get on top of her and cue the 70s porn music that has been on vibrate on his phone this whole time, in his front pocket…)(also he can put her foot on his lap…)
 
She offers advice...
“He has a girlfriend.” Sasha reminded her flicking ashes into a diet coke can on the night table. (warning….don't drink that)

Frankie sat beside her. He grabbed her hand. “There’s no time for this and you know it.” (for me…no grabbing hand. He’s too macho for that.)

I’d say that’s some favor. Woo hoo. Probably lit the poor little nerd…” (can I get a description for this pesky eddie…man, he reminds me of some people…please make it annoying!!)

And she offers awesome praise!
So, she will whip your ass. There are bitches in this world and there are beasts, and she is definitely the beast of bitches. (love)

Jane rolled her eyes and waved him off. Jen was a waitress, but Eddie liked telling people he was dating a stripper. Made the men go ooh and the ladies go eww and somehow that entertained Eddie. (brilliant!!!)

Sasha,” Jane croaked, then cleared her throat. “This is Trip. Trip, this is…”
“I know who he is Jane. He’s the guy banging the lawyer on four. Right?” Sasha paused, but not long enough for either Jane or Trip to answer before she continued, “I know the type. I don’t need introduction.” (I heart sasha!)
 
Sasha grabbed the bottle of vodka, her glass, and went to her room closing her door with a bang. (I love her!)

 
Simply put? Tammy makes editing fun.
Thanks chick, you are truly all sorts of awesome!!!

AND NOW THE PIMPING OF FATE INTENDED:

Fate Intended is the third book in the Coulter Men Series.  Trip is the last of the Coulter sons to find love. He’s a handsome man with all the skills a young spy needs to succeed. But when it comes to love, he misses the target. Jane is a sweet beauty who may or may not be wanted for murder. She’s hiding out as a cleaning lady when chance brings her and Trip together. It looks like a happily ever after is in the cross hairs until reality tries to destroy what fate has intended.

Elizabeth Seckman is a simple chick with a simple dream…to write stories people want to read.
 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

MY LIVE, not so really but kinda, INTERVIEW WITH CASSIE MAE!!

It was a dark and stormy night...
I saw a flash. A bright one. I had to be imagining it. But then...it happened again! All I was trying to do was eat my dinner outside the cafĂ©, and I kept seeing flashes of something! Wait...Cassie Mae?? Where are your pants?? How about you sit down. Yes, I know the chairs cold...

**This is a creative writing exercise. No creepy things were harmed in the process.

1. Give me some deets to mold an action figure of you.
Sexy (of course). Big lips & big eyes. Long brown hair (we'll just forget the fact that I'm turning gray at 26). And no pants. Because that's how I roll.
Um...so this would be brilliant for a "toy" shop. Yes. I can see it now.
I'd be a best seller :)
Accessories would include of lot of...shirts.

2. Flannel or Polka dots?
Flannel at night. Polka dots during the day.

3. I____
Smell candy, but I can not find candy.
Girl, those aren't polka dots. It's candy Dots.
I actually own a pair of candy dotted pajama pants. They are the most comfy things ever.
That would explain the scissor marks on them...

4. Whose weirder looking: Steve Buscemi or Kramer?
They are both gorgeous.
*shudders* You need to not say that wearing the flannel tops. Makes you stalker creepy.
I just keep thinking of Kramer when he says, "Look at this face. Am I beautiful?"
Say "yes" & wag your doll at Kramer! He may burst through the door all crazy like.

5. Hello Kitty
Hi.
Is that what you tell the drug officer when you wear the flannel and talk about creepy men?

6. Is that a clock around your neck?
I'm Flav-o-flav in disguise. (shhh!)
Ohhhh snap! Oh wait...your clock stopped. Need batteries?
Just buy me some new bling. LOL
I bought these bling batteries at the shop your dolls sold at. Says life time and night time guarantee...weird.

7. What's for lunch, because you're buying?
Whatever you want baby.
Oh my, please don't say that while wagging your doll at me...in your flannel.
*starts singing I'm Sexy and I Know It*
*yells towards door* Kramer!! Now would be a good time to come in! Seriously...save me!

8. May I have more meatballs?
Only if they're Swedish.
If Ikea sent them at least they'll come with step by step instructions and break later.

9. Stay out of my purse!
I was just slipping my number inside, I swear!
Look, I already said I'd buy the doll!

10. Serious question time: Are you no doubt just a girl, you'd rather not be, 'cause they won't let you drive late at night?
You caught me.
They banned your late night diving because of the no pants bit, huh?
No, that's why they let me off with a warning! :)
I saw Kramer whisper in his ear. Oh! Now the cops walking to that shop and yes!! He bought your doll, and his sirens went on...


RECAP

If we really do make this Cassie doll, I have to make sure I get two. One to keep in the box and one to play with. (of course!) And I have to say, this interview was the craziest one ever. Kramer would be proud. :) Thanks, Tammy!
No prob, Cassie! Just remember that eating Dots pants is not good for your health, hence why we don't recommend pants on your doll...just lots of flannel shirts! Now come and get your I SURVIVED MY INTERVIEW WITH TAMMY THERIAULT badge!!

Monday, February 10, 2014

MOONLESS Book Release Blogfest: I DO!

 
IT'S TIME!!
Time to ring those wedding bells and say "I DO" all over again!
As co-host for Crystal Collier's blogfest, I can't wait to hop around & taste everyone's wedding cake with PK Hrezo and Michael Di Gesu.
But first, a little jingle about the book that brought us our newly arranged marriages ...
In the English society of 1768 where women are bred to marry, unattractive Alexia, just sixteen, believes she will end up alone. But on the county doorstep of a neighbor’s estate, she meets a man straight out of her nightmares, one whose blue eyes threaten to consume her whole world—especially when she discovers him standing over her murdered host in the middle of the night.
Her nightmares become reality: a dead baron, red-eyed wraiths, and forbidden love with a man hunted by these creatures. After an attack close to home, Alexia realizes she cannot keep one foot in her old life and one in this new world. To protect her family she must either be sold into a loveless marriage, or escape with her beloved and risk becoming one of the Soulless. 
 
 
So here's the question:
 If you lived in a society where arranged marriages were a la mode, whom would you beg your parents to set you up with? Why?

Obviously I'm not going to go the easy, safe route and say my hubby.
I mean, he already scores major win win points all over my "playa" board.
So, I'm gonna take all the things I love about him, & create my new man to beg my parents for:

1. facial hair - oh how I love thee...
2. deep voice - yumville
3. taller than me - very easily done
4. not a body builder - but not chunky monkey
5. eyes you get lost in - where am I? cloud 9?
6. a man's man - yes he will shoot or maim you
7. hungry eyes - & I don't mean for food *wink*
8. good with kids - a must!
9. rough on the outside, teddy bear on the inside - so squeezable!
10. dislikes anyone that messes with me - bodyguard app downloaded!

OH WAIT!! MY PARENTS FOUND ONE!
 RAGNAR from the hit TV series VIKINGS!
I DO!! I DO!!

 
And while you're at it, enter to win one of these great prizes while I go on my honeymoon!!


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

IWSG: Charlie's Scribes is NOW OPEN!!

 
It's time to give back to all the wonderful bloggers everywhere...
...BY UNLOCKING THE DOORS!!
WE ARE NOW OPEN FOR BIZ-NIZ!!!
 
 
 

Do you need a break after yet another epic fail? 
Ever yearn to relearn that writeous feeling of fingers flying and keyboards smoking?
We may not be professional Hulu/Hula dancers, but we know what you’re feeling!
And, by gosh, we are here to help!
 
 
 a new FREE service featuring the angelic smiles of:
The professional women of Charlie’s Scribes (and Mark, too) have only one goal: To fight writer's block & fill empty post slots throughout the blogosphere –
or your next post is free!
At Charlie’s Scribes, our motto is “You Snooze, We Muse.” 
 
To begin, our free services will focus on guest posting for people on vacation or anyone needing a bloggy break.
(E.g. we send over the complete post, you schedule and we’ll manage comments.)
 If you have a need, we can do the deed – with speed, indeed.
 Charlie’s Scribes are the chocolate to your sweet tooth. We are the filler to the soon-to-be cavity. And best of all, we are the wig to Mark's shiny lovable head.
(If you don’t need us now – that’s okay. Feel free to print this page and pin it to your fridge next to those other emergency contact numbers.)
 
 And now for some awesome fine print in 12-point Times New Roman.
 
·         Meant as a fun, pay-it-forward endeavor, the Scribes will, at first, focus on only one project at a time
 
·         Requests are on a first write, first served basis. The more time we have to be funny, the wittier we are. (Mark often requires a ten-year lead-in time.)
 
·         All Charlie’s Scribes posts will be light, fluffy and non-pasteurized. No meaning of life posts will be considered, written or submitted (for fear of blood seeping from the Scribes’ eyes.)
 
·         Requests for specific topics are encouraged, but please note who you are dealing with. (Seriously!)
 
·         Should the Scribes continue to get along (and not have a strong, adverse desire to build a voodoo doll of other Scribes,) hosted interviews, co-hosted Cover Reveals/ Book Launches and more free services may be added
 
·         Question? Suggestions? Please reply via comments and one of the Scribes will reply within 364 business days
 
·         The Request Line for Charlie’s Scribes help is now OPEN and all requests should be made to charliesscribes@gmail.com