Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds

Last month, I did a very public thing. I know a lot of people who would steer clear of public endeavors because, quite honestly, they're so...public. I did Pitch Wars. If you haven't heard of it, click here. It's an annual writing contest and a great way to meet new writer friends.

Anyways, so, I did this public twitter thing, and well, even though I had several requests from mentors I submitted to wanting my full manuscript, I sadly didn't make it in. There are some facts to this that make it less of a blow. The amount of submissions was crazy. I can't remember, nor find the tweet, but I think it was over 3k. The good thing is I don't have to wait 2 months while I edit with a mentor to submit to agents. There are some highs and lows. Pros and Cons.

After I found out I wasn't selected, I melted (while at work) internally but kept my brave face on (because I was working). When I got home, I was a water falling down into the sewer. However, by the next day, I made my agent wishlist, researching the crap out of them for a good match, and then the following day queried a small group of them.

I was hopeful. I had this "if the mentors liked me enough to see my work, maybe these agents will too!" attitude. But then, crickets. Ok, I will admit it has only been like a week, but still. Crickets. And ok, I admit some warned it can take up to 2 months to hear back from them, but still...crickets. Yet, I DID receive a request for a full the next day...that was NOT a cricket.

Surely I would get that phone call or email or something the next day, right? Surely! Who doesn't like surely?? I didn't. I still haven't. I'm waiting. Time is passing. I got one rejection (albeit from a very high end agent) with a personal email and not electronic which was nice.

Now, I sit and wonder many things to myself. Is my book worth the heartache? (yes) Is it worthy to be published? (yes) Was it divinely inspired? (yes)  Is this waiting reflecting on my self-worth? (yes) Am I looking at published authors with green envious eyes? (oh, yes) Am I internally kicking to do events like my published friends? (hell, yes) Did I arrogantly believe so much in my book I wanted to sing about it from the rooftops, but didn't get into Pitch Wars, and got only one agent request from Pitch Mad, and have not heard from agents queried other than 2, and now I feel like God mailed me some humble pie? (yes...)

Does time heal all wounds? (no)

In fact, as time goes on when you're querying, and you're not seeing your hardwork be fruitful like you believe it so can be, it's a little crushing. Ok, A LOT of crushing. It makes you wonder and ponder and doubt this whole writer stuff. But, like I've heard a million times over, the real writers are the ones that DON'T GIVE UP.

Will I give up? (no) Will I continue on? (yes) Am I writing another book? (yes) Have I even started plotting book2 of my Viking book? (yes) Am I praying every night to hear from the agent with my full manuscript? (hell to the yes!) Did the humble pie taste good? (no) But did I learn that forced humble pie isn't fun? (yes...)

Good luck out there everyone! No one said it would be easy - only worth it! What has the waiting room of querying looked like for you?

** A SPECIAL thank you to all our men and women serving our country, be it firemen, police officers to our military **

Love your guts,

-Tammy-

Comments

L. Diane Wolfe said…
Waiting and rejection are both hard. I understand the blow when I read a submission and have to tell the writer I'm not interested. I hope they all understand this business is so subjective and what didn't appeal to one will appeal to another - and they keep trying. Just as you should keep trying.
Natalie Aguirre said…
Being a writer is filled with "no" and rejection sadly. Glad you are not giving up. And some people don't get personal responses and requests for fulls. We have to celebrate even the little victories.
Blogoratti said…
Don't give up as even the best authors out there suffered rejection at some point. Warm greetings to you.
S.P. Bowers said…
Hardest part of writing. Hang in there. Know you're not alone.
Pat Hatt said…
All those nos make it all the better when you get that first yes. Pffft to time healing all wounds. If that were the case, there would be no such thing as arthritis lol
You put yourself out there when many would've shrunk away. keep at it, Tammy.
Hi Tammy - you've certainly opened up your doors to the submission world ... and somewhere one will take you on - let's hope it's not too long - but keep on writing and submitting - good luck .. cheers Hilary
Andrew Leon said…
I don't much believe in agents.
The Silver Fox said…
I like your title. I never agreed with the opposite sentiment, cliche though it is.
No time doesn't heal wounds. What it does do, is give us space to learn to live it (mostly).
As an avid reader I am so very grateful that writers are more stubborn than stains.
Good luck.
Nick Wilford said…
I haven't done any querying since my first book (almost a decade ago), but it can be really hard waiting. Definitely the best advice is to keep going with more writing. That'll see you through everything really.
I'm getting so used to rejection. If someone ever does say yes, I may keel over from shock.
Aw, sorry you've had to deal with so much rejection lately. I know too well how painful that can be. Everything I've seen you post about this book has made it seem amazing, so I hope some luck finally comes your way for it!
rejection hurts no matter when or what. Sending a hug your way. You're reading Crooked Kingdom? Love it.
I have told myself I need to pile up two thousand rejections before I complain. So there's that madness. Anyway, Tammy, I'm proud of you for trying and not giving up. Humble pie tastes nasty but it's good medicine. Keep going forward. Your agent is out there.
Mark said…
Kudos for putting yourself out there:) I've been rejected so many time for so many things, but I eventually got that "yes" I was look for. Keeping going! We're all rooting for you:)
Patsy said…
It does hurt when our work doesn't get the reaction we hope. Although time doesn't stop us being disappointed, I think we can learn to cope with it better, so we can try again... and again... and again.

I hope you get a positive response soon.
My great-grandmother used to say instead of "Time healing all wounds" that it scoured them down raw so they didn't poke quite so much. So... not really something to look forward to, just something to survive.

You're doing the right thing, Tammy. You're writing and persevering.
M said…
One of the hardest lessons for me has been that publishing is not a meritocracy. It's possible to work hard and still "fail" because it's not entirely in your hands. You can only do so much. You write what you hope is a great book (and it probably is), but after that, unless you self-publish, the choice is not yours. We're taught all our lives that hard work pays off, but the truth is . . . sometimes it doesn't.

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