Monday, January 19, 2015

MY LIVE, not so really but kinda, INTERVIEW WITH BRIAN MILLER

It was a dark and stormy night...
Busily at Wally-world, I tried to find a gun to protect myself in this cruel dark world, till I accidently ran into a spiked hair. "Ouch! Watch where you're going!!" I about yelled, till Brian Miller smiled saying, "You here to get a fire arm too?" I adjusted the strap on my high heels, ready for action. "Every girls gotta have a little something something for the purse, you see? So, we doing this?" "Oh, it. Is. On."

***this interview is designed to test the creative writer's mind. No candy was harmed in the process**

1. It's time to rule the world!! Name the world & people.
Why settle for a world...There is a universe to conquer...and it's mine...all mine...
Wait, is that on a cat poster? With like a cat hanging from something?
A hairless cat maybe...with a pinky to his lip...or was that the bald guy with the cat...
No, no, give me your phone. I could've sworn I texted the cat hanging pic to you. See? It's right next to...

2. Wait, whoa, where did you take that pic?
Chances are it was in the classroom. I generally wear costumes when I teach... so the head dress, loin cloth and beads are a usual thing...
True, but I wish you would've considered buying adult and not kids size...
Err...yeah...this always happens when I try to do the laundry...

3. What Expendables character are you?
Brian VS. Jason
Lee Christmas of course...I mean if Stratham cut his hair into a Mohawk and put on a few pounds we would look like brothers...
And if you gave him some kids size loin cloth, head dress, and beads - I'd be a happy woman.
*snort*

4. Nerf?
Or Nothing! Every couple of weeks we have a full scale war in the house...no holds barred...kids vs. adults, adult vs. adult, kid vs. kid...until the last one standing, or we accidentally break something of my wife's...at which point we get grounded...
Ohhhh, I'm sorry. That's a typo. I meant to write NERD. But please, continue...
Oh I love Nerds...so much flavor in those little candies...Willie Wonka knows what he is doing...
*shoots Nerds bullets everywhere* It's like little BB's that like seriously hurt, right?

5. Is that a suit your wearing?
Never. I worked in banking for several years and the day I walked out the door for the last time I swore off ties forever...now if you are talking about the spandex...
*shoots nerf gun* No, I mean the rubber suit for the Nerf battle. BRING IT, MILLER!
Pyew...Pyew...Pyew...wait, wait...I need to reload...
Your pyews are pyewenie, listen to this: *shoots smallest Nerf bullet ever* BOOOSHHHHH!!!!

6. Dude, are you going to share?
Fine, it was a college thing...and I did it to win the girl...which I did...yes, yes, yes...I danced ballet...and have 6 college credits to prove it....
Now I get it! When you did that little plié to an arabesque and then ended in a sauté just to Keanu Reeves Matrix your way from the Nerf bullets, I knew I needed to offer you a spandex body suit instead.
Can I have a cape and mask too? I totally have this dream of being a superhero...thus taking ballet...so I could do these cool move...which will make it nearly impossible to stand up in the morning...
I would if I didn't think you're covering up your love for ballet, not superhero-ism. *Lifts up his shirt, finds spandex body suit with 'B' on it* I know that's not for Brian. I know it...

7. I must ask if your feet are going to be on the ground, your head is there to move you around,  so stand in the place where you live?
Just face north and think about direction of course...I never saw REM in concert, but I would have loved too...
Me, too, but I'd probably be asleep. A sleep where my eyes would kinda be like rapidly moving behind my eyelids, you know?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...huh? Oh wait, are we done already?



 THE WRAP-UP

Ha, at the end of it all, here is what I know... always pack a big Nerf gun and a lifetime supply of Nerds candy...cause you never know when you might have to defend yourself from ballet dancing wanna be Native American (first nation) school teachers with a superhero complex...by the way, B stands for...wait, if I tell you it will give away my secret identity...and should you ever get shot by Nerds, its a whole lot of buckshot...and you will not be able to sit for a week...or so...so here is to standing in the place where you live.

*reloads Nerds-Nerf gun* RUN MILLLLLLER!!!!! I would say fly off but the cape is currently shrunken and being used as a loin cloth on Mr. Christmas. Meeeeooow.

WOW, Brian! You survived!!
Now please accept this badge in honor of your mad interviewee "skillz".
 
 
How did he do, guys? Fav part? Non-fav part? Semi-fav part? Quarter-fav part?
 
 

64 comments:

Brian Miller said...

Ha thank you for an amazing and fun interview Tammy...i just woke up...so deploying my minions to do some promotion for it...

minions....minions.....dang it, i know i forgot something at the grocery story....

ok, so i will do it...

ha

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

If it's a Nerf fight, I'll join you, but not a Nerds fight. Those little buggers would hurt.
Brian, thanks for a lack of pictures from your teaching job.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Björn Rudberg said...

This was a fun read.. coming here as on minion. Sounds like a lot of fun in the Miller family.. and yes Brian is a superhero :-)

manicddaily said...

Super hero super fun! More bullets than I am used to but nerf ones at least! Keep up with the loin cloth. Take care, Tammy and Brian. k .

Bish Denham said...

Too funny! Nearly snorted herbal tea through my nose... (a possible sinus clearer?) Too bad there wasn't a picture of that loincloth being worn by a hunk... someone other that Arnold, please.

Ygraine said...

Super Hero Brian...I had guessed that much long ago! *smiles*
Sounds like there is a lot of fun to be had in the Miller household...think I'll pop in someday! Haha :D

Natalie Aguirre said...

Fun interview. And Brian sounds like a really engaging teacher. His students are lucky.

Brian Miller said...

you should ygraine....we would have fun....

alex, i can imagine the pain of NERDS buckshot in the tail....just sayin....

bjorn....shh....wait for my theme song....ha

Brian Miller said...

Natalie...i love to have fun with my students and make learning as fun as possible....we def work...but we have fun doing it...

Pat Hatt said...

haha dressed as that you must scar the every kids mind for life. You nerf ammo may deplete near the cat, he eats that stuff and if your suit is rubber, he'll eat that to, no joke, lol

Truedessa said...

Oh, this was enjoyable as I imagine you dressing the part. I could let you borrow my drum that would gain their attention quickly. Sounds like you have a house filled with love and fun.

Leovi Leovi said...

I love him! fun and difficult interview !! Brian think you're already a superhero!

Liz Mays said...

No friggin' way? Ballet? You are a man of so many mysteries...

Brian Miller said...

Liz, that is why international man of mystery is my tag line...ha....

why thank you leovi...its all fun and games....until someone steps on your cape...

tru...i would love to rock the drum...i had this roommate in college who was a drummer...different drummer though, he was in a heavy metal band...

pat...i probably do leave a little scarring...just saying..ha

Margie said...

Oh, this was so much fun!
Ballet ... awesome!
What a fun house the Miller place must be ..

mrs mediocrity said...

what a fun way to start out my monday morning... and i would love to be a fly on the wall in your classroom for a week :)

SA Larsenッ said...

Haha!!! This was great, as always. I LUV Nerf fights. I'm in!!! It's great to meet you, Brian.

Carole Anne Carr said...

Agreed, the Miller house must be a fun place to live.

Claudia said...

haha... no chance to survive such an interview without a superhero suit...and yeah...i always wondered whom jason stratham reminds me of...smiles

cleemckenzie said...

Ballet is great training for life. Keeps you on your toes.

Thanks for letting us have the insider information and encouraging laughter at the same time,

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Nerf wars are the best though those little arrow things are like dog hair. You find them every where forever. I totally see the Jason look alike thing.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

With four boys, we've had plenty of Nerf wars in this house!

Perfect interview, all but tweaking poor Jason about his baldness. I'm sure he's love to have a mohawk. Nice of you to point out that he can't. Hehe.

Chrys Fey said...

This was a fun interview! I had a Nerf war with my nephews on Thanksgiving. I was surprised at the bruises I got because of it. haha

Charles Gramlich said...

It has been a while since I've read anything quite so insane. I approve heartily! :)

Brian Miller said...

margie...we like to keep it real...ha

kelly (mrs m)...i def challenge my kids but i love connecting math to their real life...and even the time....we do murder mysteries using math....we just did a lesson on functions and used hot wheels to measure velocity....

SA...just be careful, Tammmy packs a large NERF gun...

carole...you never know what to expect...

claudia...well you have met me in real life so, you can be the judge...haha...be nice...smiles

clee...its funny, the old croatian teacher pulled the boyfriends aside and made us an offer we could not refuse....

susan, i appreciate your eyesight on the comparison...ha..at least the nerf bullets are better than finding legos...they will cripple you...

elizabeth...well hopefully jason does not take offense because i would not want to meet him in a dark alley...just saying...

chrys...next time dont let them hook up tot he air compressor....ha

charles...what is life without a little insanity, you know...

Loni Townsend said...

Hahaha! Very giggle worthy and entertaining.

mail4rosey said...

Diggin' the love of the Nerf wars. I instigate those with my children, until hubby makes us put the guns away. ;) Fun interview!

SuperLux said...

I absolutely enjoyed reading this not your usual interview. I've started following Brian last year and it's always a treat to read his works.

I'm glad you made this interview Tammy. I've seen a preview of how his clever mind works. :)

Tammy Theriault said...

THANKS so much everyone for supporting a wonderful poet who don't know it...nerd nerf corny??? ABSOLUTELY!!

Alice Audrey said...

Fave. Definitely fave. But then, Brian has been one of my faves for a long time. But let's get him something a little more substantial than a spandex loin cloth.

Elephant's Child said...

Definitely fun. Though I suspect I am a minion's minion. And a nerd.

Suzanne Furness said...

Haha what a fun interview :)

Jenny Tacken said...

This is hilarious, thank you for my morning smiles.
Ballet you say? Hmm who would of thought. Smiles gotten bigger. Spandex? Oh dear..no words. Loin cloth? Again I'm lost. Thanks Tammy for the insight into this wonderful pirouetting ..down right honest and lovely human being.

Brian Miller said...

loni...giggling is def healthy for you...works the abs...

mail4....haha there always has to be one in the bunch to keep order...smiles

superlux...its been fun to get to know you a bit the last year...as i said...now you know things you may have wished you never did...ha

tammy...thanks so much for this...having fun...

alice...i never ask for more than i need...luckily it is a warm day out....ha

elephant's child....nerds unite!

suzanne....yes, indeed....

jenny...how did i know you would get a kick out of this...you make me smile...

hedgewitch said...

Who knew that about the Nerds bullets? I could have used that information once, when I had someone who really needed strafing. I am a bit put out there is no pic of you in a spandex suit, bri, but other than that, loved this--great interview, and thanks to the interviewer for being brave enough to face you down for it.

Holy Ghost Writer said...

Things must be pretty visual in those clothes. Poor youth

kaykuala said...

This is really something! Lots of things brewing in your family. Sharing in all the fun and happy for you! Have it Brian!

Hank

Brian Miller said...

joy...now you are well armed...i will work on getting that picture of me in spandex...err...i have this fear if i get it on, it wont come off...ha

holy ghost...ha...well...

hank...yep, we keep it pretty lively...thanks friend...

Nicki Elson said...

Now that's an interview. You got a whole thing going on a typeo -- and even pulled out his deepest, darkest, most pirouettish secret. Nicely done, both of you.

Suzi said...

Nerf wars are fun. It's great to be able to shoot your kids sometimes. :)

Stephen Tremp said...

I have to laugh as I was in banking and finance for years. I left a decade ago and have yet to don a tie since.

ds said...

Nothing keeps a family together like a good old-fashioned Nerf war ; ) Ballet and nerds explain everything--ha! Always knew you were a superhero, Brian. Thanks for the interview, Tammy. Great fun!

Tammy Theriault said...

AMAZING comments!!! Awesome support, Brian!!!

Peaches D. Ledwidge said...

Chuckles from the interview. Almost too real.

S.P. Bowers said...

You are all kinds of crazy, but you always make me laugh.

Kristin Smith said...

Haha! That was awesome. Like Alex, I think I would prefer a Nerf war over a Nerds war any day! :)

humbird said...

...Just can't get it: how you can be at couple different places simultaneously?...smiles

Brian Miller said...

nicki...all from a typo...go figure...ha...now deep dark secrets...well...ha

suzi....and not have social services show up, for sure...

stephen....freedom! good for you...oy what a world that is eh?

ds...you have me all figured out now...smiles.

peaches...i have been accused of reality on occassion but i am in total denial...

SP...i will assume you are talking to Tammy, but i can fit that bill too...smiles.

kristen...those Nerds would leav ea mark...

humbird....clones...i have clones....

jamieayres.com said...

Hahaha! This was the most entertaining interview ever!! And now I want to have a Nerf gun war & break something while eating grape flavored Nerds (cause those are the best & everyone knows it). And I want Brian to come teach at my school :-)

Poet Laundry said...

Ha--fun stuff!! I am always stepping on those Nerf bullets at my house, but I'll take those over Legos! Yeeowch...

Christine Rains said...

Now I want to eat Nerds while listening to REM. Awesome interview. Remind me to bring a face shield next time.

Tara Miller said...

What a fun interview! Life is never dull with my hubby and I love it his spontaneous craziness! Yes, it is true - he did take ballet in college AND performed in the Nutcracker. He forgot to tell you that. ;)

The Silver Fox said...

I've known Brian for... well... seems like forever. More like five or six years. Great subject for one of the strangest interviews ever!

Brian Miller said...

jamie...how does your school pay? hahahaha...and grape is the bomb....pour the whole box in your mouth at once...oh my...sugar rush!!!!!!

PL...no joke...legos are crippling!

christine....face shield for sure...i can hear my mom now....you better watch it you might put an eye out!

baba....shh on that nutcracker business....ha

Fox...things you wish you never knew eh? our relationship will be changed forever....

Morgan said...

Ballet???? Hahaha. Nice, Brian! As a ballet teacher for 14 years, and pro dancer for 7, you have my absolute respect. ;-)

This was hilariously awesome. Totally loved reading this. You guys = Fab pair. Loved.

S said...

Now that I've cleaned up the mess from snorting coffee through my nose...I should know better. Very entertaining, clearly a great match of wits. And I enjoy the mindflow of nerfs to nerd to capes and loincloths.... Not the correct order, but who knew I'd see all those things in one interview? Ha! :-)

Lady Lilith said...

Lol. Fun interview. Thanks for sharing.

klahanie said...

Hey Tam-bare!

Despite ongoing computer issues, I still managed to get to your awesome site. Bonus points to me!

Anyway, "Enerf"of this. Just wanted to say how incredibly brave Brian is. To survive one of Tammy's interviews is an amazing feat.

Nice one, kids.

Gary :)

Brian Miller said...

morgan...nice...my wife danced for like 18 years...so when in rome...wear a brush on your head you know....

S...doesnt it feel great to have your sinuses cleaned out?

Lilith...it has been a blast...

gary...comes with the loincloth...i mean wear one of those in public and you will never fear anything evah!

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I've been blessed to call Brian my blogging friend for almost a year and a half. I love that dude. Poet, Former banker turned educator, and who took ballet classes. A true Renaissance man indeed.

DMS said...

Definitely a fun interview. I especially like the part about the Nerf wars. Sounds like a blast. :)
~Jess

Heather Holden said...

LOL, so fun! *hides from impending Nerf wars*

Susan Anderson said...

Glad I ran across this nutcracker of an interviews.

heehee

=)