Monday, January 5, 2015

2015: The Year of Who Gives a Crap!

Some Buddhist philosophy centers around not changing. Doesn't that sound wonky? Totally defies all you've been told, right? Wrong.

I spent 3 days in hell being totally upset/annoyed about one thing I wanted to change. I refused, refused (!) to accept that this thing couldn't be changed. I was miserable, inviting myself repeatedly to my pity party where I even hosted. And DJ'd. And passed out refreshments...

Then, I remembered a concept I learned in a workshop: "No motivation to change is the Buddhist way. Just accept it and there will be no reason to change it. That will make you grow."

So, on that 3rd day of pissy-ness, I accepted the fact that there'd be no change, and stopped trying or grudging about it. It took me 2 days to be okay with it, and another just to move on. It was gradual, but the coolest part was creating this lovely thing called "accepting what is" and "embracing what is". Once that happened, there was happiness all over again. And love. Lots of love.

You can't make people do anything, but YOU can do everything!
 

For 2015 I say WHO GIVES A CRAP! I'm going to restate a phrase I made up:

don't change you weirdos! :)
DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU, IT'S THE EPITOME OF YOUR PERFECTION!!

I encourage everyone reading this not to conform. Not to adhere. Not to put yourself down, because you're only doing that when you see someone as being higher than you. We all breath the same air, and takes craps. But for some reason, we also think "the Jones'" are still doing it better than us. Yeah bullcrap right! I thought I needed to change something so I could be "happier" but I found I was happier the way it was, faults included.

 
READ THE QUOTES BELOW. TELL ME YOUR PICK FOR 2015.
Tell me how you feel about changes or share with me your awesome story!!
 

**Although I'm not Buddhist, I'm also not closed minded to amazing theories**

45 comments:

Yolanda Renee said...

Sometimes patience is a hard lesson, at least for me! My hubby is good with the 'just wait' attitude, me, I rant and rave and pound my fist, but in the end, he's the happier one! :)

cleemckenzie said...

Yep. Acceptance. I practice that every day. Progress? Some, but not much. More acceptance to practice. Do I see a circle here or is that my tail just ahead?

Julie Flanders said...

This has a good chance of being my favorite post title of the year even though we're only in January! I am going to try my best to live by this. :D

Love all the quotes but the third one is my favorite. Finally learning to just be myself.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Yeah, fuck 'em all, I say. I like that "plot twist" quotation. On Wed, I'm doing your book meme "My Sins Revealed" over at my blog.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I love the plot twist one.

Change what you can, don't try to change what you can't, and have the wisdom to know the difference.

Christine Rains said...

LOVE that message! Plot twists happen all the time in my life. :) Here's to a grand 2015 for all of us.

Bish Denham said...

Great post! All those quotes apply as I've been a non-conformist most of my life. Grew up in a family of them. Never have thought much about the Joneses... It's all just stuff after all and we can't take any of it with us.

We will be remembered for what we gave away (love) not for what we kept had in our houses.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Nope, you can't make people do anything and you can't change them.

Pat Hatt said...

I have the don't give a crap attitude down. But I would like to take a big crap on the Jones's every once in a while. lol

Natalie Aguirre said...

Love the message on accepting what you can't change. It's so true and I've had big lessons in this in 2014. All the quotes are very inspiring too. Fantastic post to start the New Year!

ilima said...

I like the third one about being yourself and letting people see the imperfect, flawed, quirky magical you. I feel like as writers, this is what makes our writing good. When we put ourselves out there, completely vulnerable, for the world to see and judge and critique. That real-ness is what makes beautiful art. This year I'm going to do what works for me and ignore the rest. Thanks for this post!

Annalisa Crawford said...

I love the quote about everyone going in the wrong direction. That's exactly how I live my life. I hate being a sheep!

Neurotic Workaholic said...

It's true that there are some things about ourselves or about our lives that we can't change. I was feeling bad about myself recently due to another harsh critique from my advisor; he might never change, but I can change how I respond to him.

Chrys Fey said...

Sometimes we don't have control over things and we do have to accept what is. It can be difficult, but it's a lesson we all have to learn. And doing what works for us is the best way of doing things. ;)

Happy New Year, Tammy!

Elizabeth Seckman said...

I like the third one. The older I get, the more committed I am to being me. I'm too lazy to try to be someone else.

And personally? I've never really trusted perfect anything.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

As I've aged, I've accepted that the only thing I have control of me is myself. It's much easier to just be yourself and accept who you are.
Glad you made it through the pity party season.

Sarah Foster said...

I love the plot twist quote! Sometimes things happen to us that we don't see coming. You just have to find a way to adapt and like you said, not give a crap.

Elephant's Child said...

Love it. And the second AND the third quotes speak to me.
Everyone is entitled to a paddle in the pity pool from time to time. Not a problem until it becomes a wallow.
Hugs.

Andrew Leon said...

I find, in general, that it's not "everyone could be wrong;" it's everyone is wrong.
In fact, studies show, the more people you have doing the one thing, the more likely it is to be the wrong thing.

Rena said...

Ha! I love the plot twist quote. Although, I wonder if the storyteller of my life is maybe dithering, or if they intend to turn large chunks of the annoying, boring parts of my life into a music montage so we can cut to the real plot.

Happy 2015, and go kick some non-crap giving butt!

LuAnn Braley said...

Diggin' the "plot twist" quote.

Cortney Pearson said...

Oh my GOSH, Tammy!!! Can I reach through the screen and give you a gigantic hug right now? I've been feeling crappy and down about one specific thing and this post totally lifted my spirits and made me cry. THANK YOU. Thank you for being awesome and uplifting and your beautiful self! And my favorite quote is the third one--Just Be Yourself.

Btw--I had a crazy dream about you last night (random, right?), that you were throwing this party at your house and I was trying to make it through some kind of fun-house maze thing to make it to your party. Lol. Crazy! :D

Stephen Tremp said...

I agree about yelling out, "Plot Twist." Sometimes you just have to go with it. Happy New Year to you and yours!

Tammy Theriault said...

YOU GUYS ARE FLAWLESS!!! Big stupid crazy chest bump hugs to everyone coming by!!!

S.P. Bowers said...

Not everything that's unique or 'weird' about us is wrong. Sometimes it just makes us who we are. Great post!

JoJo said...

I could not love this blog post more if I tried. PERFECT.

Kristin Smith said...

Perfect post to start out the new year! Just be you and don't change a thing! I am embracing my weirdo and moving forward!

The Just Be Yourself quote is my favorite. So good. Thanks for the inspiring post! :)

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Tammy - one and three make sense ..

"People are responding to the effort I make, and they stick around for a reason." I like this idea .. we can be different and respond differently .. but if we make the effort, and are aware of others ... people will enjoy being with us along our journey ...

Happy New Year and to all things good - cheers Hilary

Elana Johnson said...

I will not conform! ;)

klahanie said...

Hey Tammy!

I wont adhere or conform to anything, especially religion, which I think should go the way of the dinosaurs.

If I meet another born again hypocrite, I think I will effin' scream on maybe conform after all and get sucked into one of those ridiculous blog hops!

On a more serious note, a most thoughtful post, Tammy.

A peaceful, positive New Year and a year you choose to have it your way.

Gary :)

Lynda R Young said...

Acceptance goes a long way.
Happy New Year to you and may it be a brilliant one!!

Michelle Wallace said...

DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU, IT'S THE EPITOME OF YOUR PERFECTION!!
Yes! Learn to embrace your perfectly imperfect self!
Love this!
Happy New Year, Tammy!

Writer In Transit

Suzie Ridler said...

Oh man, do I ever know what it's like to hold onto something that just isn't going to happen and try and find peace with what is. That Buddhist practice kept me sane for six years locked in my house. Now I am free but it was brutal. I actually bought three Buddhist pendants that I am going to make necklaces from to remind me of the importance of the art of detachment. I am glad that it helped you get through your situation and bring you happiness again.

Crystal Collier said...

You definitely have to let go of things you have no control over, but I'm with you. You have the ability to shape your own reality AROUND the unchangeable aspects.

I love the WHO GIVES A CRAP philosophy, but I cringe at one aspect. I worry that the attitude embraces a selfish outlook that the current generation has taken to an extreme. They don't care. It's all about them. I think we should have this attitude with ourselves, but where others are concerned, we need to be considerate. The world isn't a series of islands. It could never function that way.

David P. King said...

I totally love that middle quote. And you very much stated the mantra for which I've lived most of my life. Do what works for you. Who giving a flying Sasquatch what others have to say about it.

A very Happy New Year and much success to you, Tammy! :)

M Pax said...

I totally agree: do what works for you. I think you rock. :) Happy New Year!

Stephanie Faris said...

Such great advice. It is far too easy to get upset over things we can't control. If we can find a way to just let it go, we'll be much better off for it.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I love this post - all of it. Blessed are you, wise, weird and wonderful woman. xo

SuperLux said...

Woot Woot to that quote! That made me rethink things. If I'm okay with it and accepted it with all my heart, there really won't be a need to stress myself out trying to change it. If there is no harm in being in it, why change it?

Ciao, girl! :)

Tammy Theriault said...

Love and hugs everyone. You all make me so elated!!!

Al Diaz said...

Hahahahaha! Oh, Tammy, I so love you for this post. It's great that you've learned in a few days a lesson it took me about two centuries to learn. Good for you girl! If you can keep practicing it, you'll realize just how much upset you can save yourself. Dragon Hugs!

Suze said...

I like the plot twist one. :)

Happy New Year! Btw, I called you Tamala in a comment and I know that's not your name but it jes came out ... You know how it is.

Happy 2015, Tamala!

Caryn Caldwell said...

I really love that outlook. Sometimes I think I get so wrapped-up in trying to be the perfect wife/mom/writer/whatever that it's easy to forget what I'm doing right and to appreciate my current life. (Though does it count as changing if I stop pressuring myself to change? Hmmm. Conundrum! :-D)

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hey, Tams...

Be yourself. That IS GOOD ENOUGH!!!! I do believe in change, it helps to keep things fresh and new. BUT, if there's nothing you can do at that moment ROLL with it. Why make yourself miserable.

Just remember to throw on those running shorts and head for the beach!

Morgan said...

Hahaha! Amen!!!! Totally loved this, Tammy. Perfect for me today. <3