I walked a lonely alley to score a fix. A smell wafted passed my weak nostrils. I inhaled deep, closing my eyes. Agh...fresh cookies. Suddenly, Peggy Eddleman stood in front of me with a plate of dark chocolate chunk cookies glistened with a sugary like powder. Peggy smiled cunningly and said, "You know you want it." I did. I so...did. But, a few questions first!
1. Wrestle me? What's your wrestler's name, special move, and one liner?
I'm always up for a wrestling match! I am the Cookie Monster, my signature move is the Crumbler, and my one liner is "Bite me!"
I'm sensing a theme, but unsure. *finds cookies in middle of ring* Wait. Is this a set up?
*whistles* Why no. What would make you think that?
2. You just threw your stuff across the room in anger. Why?
Because there was a spider crawling across it. I had to get that
Use your "crumbler" move on it. How's that go again?
Gggeeehhhuuurrrggghhh! Use the Crumbler on it?!?!?!?! *shudders* Why would you even suggest that ?! No cookies for you! (said in Soup Nazi voice)
I hate my life...
3. I can______ with my ______.
I can draw a picture of a hedgehog caught in a mudslide with my eyes closed.
*pulls out fuzzy blindfold from purse* I, um, keep this for you know, emergencies. Anyways lets test that talent?
By "emergency" you mean "emergency nap"...Right? And, okay. *Slips on fuzzy blindfold* Ooo! Soft! I can see why you'd carry this in your purse. I'm feeling an emergency nap coming on already. Oh, wait. Ahem, I'm I the middle of something. prepare yourself for some world-class artwork here, peeps. *scribble scribble* Tada!
4. We're signing up for a meeting. Choose one!
A meeting of the minds. But only if it comes with head massages.
I already having a headache knowing about it.
Hence the head massages. :)
Touché?? You're freakin' blowing my mind already!
5. Ben Affleck: Batman or Heck-no-man?
Who am I to condemn anyone for their lifestyle choices?
Well, you're the cookie monster with an arachnophobia and impeccable hedgehog mudslide skills. You sound so bland when said out loud.
Ahh. Yes. The bland bio that is anyone's bane.
6. Um...what's that in your hand?
What? *nom-nom* What are you talking about? *wipes crumbs off mouth* I don't have anything in my hand.
I knew it! The purse was thrown as a decoy! Where are you keeping the rest? Where?! Why am I addicted to them??
It's all because of my mad baking skillz. And, let's face it, my mad hiding skillz.
MIND BLOWING! Ok, let's hit that meeting...stat!
7. Did you get my invite?
Shh. I thought that was just going to be between me and you!
It was, till you hid those amazing cookies. Now I'm tempted to expose what it's for! Don't make me do it!
I think that to be a good friend, I better cut you off now.
Look, I'm gonna hide and try to find the hidden cookies. I have to become the cookie to get the cookie. Shhh...
8. If I wore camouflage, could you see me?
Only if you wore the sparkly nail polish.
*looks for nail polish remover in purse* Dang it. I forget every time. I'll go change.
9. Bust or _____
Wait. Didn't you get that backwards? Like "Anywhere with warmer weather or bust!" Because if not, all I've got is "Bust or Angel Dust." I'll take the angel dust, please! I know the stuff sticks to you like glitter at a craft fair, but those creepy eyes in bust statues always follow me wherever I go...
I think you were taking angel dust before I even asked you the question. *sees a hill-billy riding a unicorn walk by* Oh man, you laced our cookies didn't you?
Well, um,...okay. Yes I did. Angel Dust is highly addictive when combined with chocolate chips. But the hallucinating? That's all you, babe,...Or maybe it's just the reflection off that glitter camo outfit you changed into to match your nails.
Hey now, I was only matching the glittery stuff on the cookies. BECOME the cookie!
10. I hate to make this personal but where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from cotton-eyed Joe?
*I'm doing a jig as I sing this, fyi* I came from the revision cave to get some Christmas ham, that's where I came from, twinkle-eyed Tam.
I'm totally hallucinating on your angel dust cookies, Peg! *nibbles her leg* Did you say eat a yam?
But don't you just love the twinkle they put in your eye? It's rather festive.
*rubs burning eyes* Agh! I freakin' have glitter in my eyes! Oh my gosh! It burns, it burns!!
THE WRAP - UP
After spending the day with Tammy, I learned that everything comes down to the cookies. And back around to the cookies. Cookies are powerful things! And with great power comes great responsibility to watch out for your fellow nibblers. because, no matter how tasty they may be, cookies are also dangerous things, and should be wielded with extreme caution. Especially when it comes to eyesight and angel dust. I also learned that I shouldn't flippantly throw around blindfolded drawing skills...But most importantly, Tammy looks properly Christmas Glittered now. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
*runs down alley* My eyes!! My festive glistening eyes!! *hits wall, drops to floor, sees cookie crumb* Hey look! Crumbs!
Wow, Peggy! You survived!!
Now please accept this badge in honor of your mad interviewee "skillz".
How did she do, guys? Fav part? Non-fav part? Semi-fav part? Quarter-fav part?
1/8th fav part? Non-semi-kinda-little-bit fav part? Peggy-was-here- fav part?