Wanna see something from my book of my real Christmas experience? This is an excerpt from my rough draft PIMPBOOKMAMA. It's very telling of my white Christmas tree feelings. Note: these are not my kids; mine would've been crying in time out way earlier!
“Where do you want the tree, honey?” Jax asks bringing out the pre-lit plastic white evergreen. I know. It’s corny. But two years ago when I saw that bad boy, having green fakies years prior, I wanted white. I was tired of spraying on snow to make it feel more like Christmas, even in the house. So, I begged and got my white. Now I beg and want my old sacred green back.
“In the fire. Kids...back up. It’s gonna fizzle a bit." I put down my hot chocolate and throw my arm against them in defense. They’re on the edge of the couch, waiting for Jax to arrange the tree so they can ruin, I mean, decorate it. They fall back and giggle.
Jax shakes his head and pulls it out of the box, taking his time to snap everything in place, then plug it in. I kneel down and begin my routine fluffing of the limbs to make it fuller while the kids begin their routine fight over what ornament they’re putting up and which is truly theirs.“Honey.”
“Come here a sec,” Jax says, and heads to the kitchen. The noise of kids squalling amplifies.
“Guys, stop fighting or all three of you go to bed early," I shout behind me, secretly hoping I get to do it. Come on, there's nothing like some early peace and quiet for the holidays, right?
Ashley pushes Josh over with her body. “Move, terd. I get first pick!”
Josh drops his Wolverine action figure and guns it for her, landing them both on the couch in a full out wrestling match. Mia takes the opportunity, puts Moe the purple hippo down, and grabs a Tinkerbell ornament to be the first to decorate the tree.
“No fair!” Ashley and Josh protest. They get up, reach for the ornament container, and rush to the tree with whatever they've blindly pulled.
“Ha! Beat ‘cha!” Josh exclaims, nearly falling into glowing white branches.
“I wouldn’t boost about hanging Cinderella.”
Josh mimics her and they’re back on the couch wrestling. All the while, Mia hums “O Christmas Tree” and continues to decorate the entire tree herself.
Maybe if you have kids, that was head nodding true. So you see, originally having always had green trees, I wanted the white. But, two years later, I was done! Burn sucka!! But, then a friend suggested that I could changed the color schemes on it, and what a genius duh moment that was! Have I yet? Nah. I've learned to accept that it's not the tree that needs to change it's colors, but me that needs to change my attitude. With that said, " Happy Tree selfie!!"
Yesterday was my birthday! I hit the mid-30's mark. That means I'm more so-fi-stimi-cated, right? (Man, spell check hated that word) Thanks to ya'll on social media that sent me mad shout-outs! Took forever to respond to everyone, but it made me feel like a gazillion bucks!! When mi mamasita asked what cake I wanted, I drew a blank. I know right?? But, now that I'm "eating clean" nothing sounded good. In a desperate attempt just to name one, I gave into an old friend. Meet Cheesecake!! It stays with you on your thighs, and gut. Best old buds.
What color is YOUR tree and do you have a decoration theme?? Does Ashley, Josh, and Mia sound like your kids/grandkids?? And best of all, what cake would YOU pick for YOUR birthday??
See ya in 2015!