Monday, December 22, 2014

Christmas Holidays & Birthday Suit Wearing

Wanna see something from my book of my real Christmas experience? This is an excerpt from my rough draft PIMPBOOKMAMA. It's very telling of my white Christmas tree feelings. Note: these are not my kids; mine would've been crying in time out way earlier!

            “Where do you want the tree, honey?” Jax asks bringing out the pre-lit plastic white evergreen. I know. It’s corny. But two years ago when I saw that bad boy, having green fakies years prior, I wanted white. I was tired of spraying on snow to make it feel more like Christmas, even in the house. So, I begged and got my white. Now I beg and want my old sacred green back.
            “In the fire. Kids...back up. It’s gonna fizzle a bit." I put down my hot chocolate and throw my arm against them in defense. They’re on the edge of the couch, waiting for Jax to arrange the tree so they can ruin, I mean, decorate it. They fall back and giggle.
            Jax shakes his head and pulls it out of the box, taking his time to snap everything in place, then plug it in. I kneel down and begin my routine fluffing of the limbs to make it fuller while the kids begin their routine fight over what ornament they’re putting up and which is truly theirs.
            “Come here a sec,” Jax says, and heads to the kitchen. The noise of kids squalling amplifies.
            “Guys, stop fighting or all three of  you go to bed early," I shout behind me, secretly hoping I get to do it. Come on, there's nothing like some early peace and quiet for the holidays, right?
            Ashley pushes Josh over with her body. “Move, terd. I get first pick!”
            Josh drops his Wolverine action figure and guns it for her, landing them both on the couch in a full out wrestling match. Mia takes the opportunity, puts Moe the purple hippo down, and grabs a Tinkerbell ornament to be the first to decorate the tree.
            “No fair!” Ashley and Josh protest. They get up, reach for the ornament container, and rush to the tree with whatever they've blindly pulled.
            “Ha! Beat ‘cha!” Josh exclaims, nearly falling into glowing white branches.
            “I wouldn’t boost about hanging Cinderella.”
            Josh mimics her and they’re back on the couch wrestling. All the while, Mia hums “O Christmas Tree” and continues to decorate the entire tree herself.

Maybe if you have kids, that was head nodding true. So you see, originally having always had green trees, I wanted the white. But, two years later, I was done! Burn sucka!! But, then a friend suggested that I could changed the color schemes on it, and what a genius duh moment that was! Have I yet? Nah. I've learned to accept that it's not the tree that needs to change it's colors, but me that needs to change my attitude. With that said, " Happy Tree selfie!!"

Yesterday was my birthday! I hit the mid-30's mark. That means I'm more so-fi-stimi-cated, right? (Man, spell check hated that word) Thanks to ya'll on social media that sent me mad shout-outs! Took forever to respond to everyone, but it made me feel like a gazillion bucks!! When mi mamasita asked what cake I wanted, I drew a blank. I know right?? But, now that I'm "eating clean" nothing sounded good. In a desperate attempt just to name one, I gave into an old friend. Meet Cheesecake!! It stays with you on your thighs, and gut. Best old buds.

What color is YOUR tree and do you have a decoration theme?? Does Ashley, Josh, and Mia sound like your kids/grandkids?? And best of all, what cake would YOU pick for YOUR birthday??

See ya in 2015!


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Happy birthday!
I've never had a white tree. Glad you grew to like it.
Have a wonderful Christmas!

JoJo said...

I'm all about the green trees full of my old ornaments from 'back in the day'. I would prefer to have a big, real tree but with a klutzy German shepherd I don't dare.

Elise Fallson said...

You know what you need? Onion goggles. I like trees that hang upside down from the ceiling...but that's just me. ;)
Happy Birthday hon and have a rockin Christmas and New Years! :)

Jemi Fraser said...

Enjoy your white tree! Hope you enjoy a wonderful Christmas!! :)

Author R. Mac Wheeler said...

Merry Christmas, from the original Scrooge.

Michael Di Gesu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pat Hatt said...

Never thought of having a white tree. Hope you had a happy birthday!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Happy birthday, Tammy girl! Birthday cake has no calories, you know, so have a second piece and enjoy it!

Kristin Smith said...

I love this post! And your story that went with it. Gotta have squabbling kids for it to be "real" at my house. I've never had a white tree, but I think yours looks AWESOME! Embrace the white, baby! :)

And happy belated birthday! I turn "mid-thirties" in a few months too! But thirties are the new twenties, right? Hehe.

Have a wonderful Christmas!!

Yolanda Renee said...

Happy Birthday!

Love cheesecake, but Michael, strawberry short cake, yum, can we combine the two! :)

Love the story! Reminds me of the days the boys were young and I wanted to give them a real Christmas memory, going to the Christmas tree farm and cutting down our own tree, hauling it back on top of the car, and oh, I couldn't wait for the hot cocoa, and Christmas carols while we decorated. But the end result: A tree to big for the living room. A run to the hardware store for a saw to cut it down, a nest of spiders that loved roaming in the warm air. Not to mention the stand being to weak to hold such a big trunk and another run to the store for a new stand. Did I mention the cussing that went along with all that. The next year I tried it again, almost the same exact result. Actually it was all my Christmas wish, hubby was too bah humbug, still is. So to make life easier, I learned my lesson and the next year I got up at 5:00 AM and went out on black Friday to secure a $30 fake green tree. No more cussing,(he had no responsibility, and the hot cocoa and carols didn't cause stomach ulcers for any of us. LOL
Some of us are Christmas elves, and some of us are scrooges!

Wishing you the Merriest Christmas, and the most creative and prosperous New Year!

SA Larsenッ said...

Got your B-day on FB, but here you go again: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

This is the first year we have full-grown cats in the house with our tree. AUGH!!!!!!!!!! They've destroyed my tree. I am so into decorating it. Our tradition - because my kiddos are older now - is to use all their hand made ornaments from over the years. It's a total walk down memory lane. We love that! I'm allergic to real trees. (Yes, I live in the state who has the Pine tree as its state tree.) So we've always used a green, life-like tree. This year I switched to a color palette of lime, blues, & raspberry-colored Christmas balls and other odd shapes. I also used sparkling lime ribbon and an antique-looking, creamy ribbon with writing on it draped down the sides of the tree. I really like it.

Elephant's Child said...

Happy Birthday.
And yes, the tree story is very, very familiar. There was usually a bit of violence to start the season of peace and good will.
Happy Christmas too.

cleemckenzie said...

My bestest tree ever was when I was about 6. White with blue ornaments (I wanted to write balls, but I know you too well). So I'm glad you crisped up that green thing and went with the white theme.

cleemckenzie said...

p.s. Happy Birthday and I'm on my way to snag a piece of cheese cake. Or am I too late?

dolorah said...

I haven't had a tree in a few years; not much space and cats that tear it to pieces anyway. But it has always been green.

One year my mother did the white christmas tree thing, but had a spinning colored light under it to make it all sorts of colors. That only lasted one year.

Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas Tammy.

Tammy Theriault said...

I LOVE these stories!!!!!!

The Silver Fox said...

Well, a very Happy Birthday to you, and a Merry Christmas if I don't "see" you again before then!

Christine Rains said...

Your tree looks wonderful! I have only one little guy. He put one ornament on and then he was done with the decorating. "You do it, Mom, while I play LEGO Batman." *snorts* Mmm, cheesecake. Godiva chocolate cheesecake, oh yeah. Have a very merry Christmas! :)

Suzi said...

I remember us begging to get a flocked tree when we were kids. I think my parents got it one year. :)

Our tree is green. And real. I love the smell too much to get a fake. And it's a mismatch of decorations. I buy the kids a new one each year. The other day I was explaining why I buy the one I did cause my (8 yr old) daughter questioned why I bought her a dinosaur years ago. Which is more boyish, I guess. :) Until then, she didn't realize I had a reason for picking out what I did, so now she knows maybe it'll be more special to her.

Vanessa Eccles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vanessa Eccles said...

Happy Birthday! I've always wanted to try a white tree, but ours is green with turquoise trimmings. I try to eat "clean" too, so I usually go for a frozen yogurt cake. But that cheesecake looks amazing! Yum. :)

Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! said...

Hi alleged human, Tammy,

Hey, just the opening line about where you wanted the tree, honey, got me to thinking a bit lateral. Arf!

Give me a green coloured tree, any time.

I sure hope you had the bestest birthday. My human left a comment to you on "Farcebook" in regards to your birthday. I think it either got swallowed up or you deleted it! :)

An upside down cake for my birthday. I always wanted to type uʍop ǝpısdn!

Have a good one.

Pawsitive wishes,

Penny :)

SuperLux said...

Wow, I could only imagine the celebration. Must be really high for you! :)

Happy bday, Merry Christmas and have a wonderful New year!

Nick Wilford said...

We have a pink tree! We did have a larger green one, but it got thrown away by mistake when moving house. My daughter said it was OK to have pink because our family has a mummy, three girls and a very girly daddy. Hmm... Happy belated bday and Happy New Year!

Neurotic Workaholic said...

I especially like the part about the kids arguing over who got to put the decorations on first; that's definitely something that kids would argue about, because they (including me, when I was that age) like to be first in line.
I haven't had a Christmas tree in years (too small). I bought a small pink one several years ago and I really didn't like it, partly because it was too small to put decorations on it.

Shell Flower said...

Happy Birthday! Sorry I'm late to the party. Ninja Alex already has a lampshade on his head, so I know I missed some fun. The kids sound a lot like most kids I know. We don't do a tree at home, but my sister's tree was beautiful and super-tall. Here's to a great new year!

Morgan said...

Happy Birthday, Tammy!!!!! (And you are so lovely beautiful. Love the pictures)

Fun to read your writing and I hope this next year is absolutely beautiful for you. <3 <3 <3 Thank you for being my friend.

Adhi Das said...

Wishing you a very happy & Prosperous New Year ..Thanks for all the support! Keep writing! Keep lighting!…BEST PRAYERS FOR FUTURE!!

David P. King said...

I didn't know it was your birthday! A happy belated Birthday to you, Tammy. And wishing you a very Happy New Year. :)

Michelle Wallace said...

Happy New Year to you and your family, Tammy!

DMS said...

I have always had a green tree (either real or fake). I saw a really cute white tree this year that was decorated as a snowman. :)

Happy Belated Birthday! I love cheesecake or ice cream cake.

Wishing you a happy 2015.

Shannon Lawrence said...

My tree is green and my decoration theme is "cram these suckers on the tree and try to make it somewhat even." And then I put my favorite two ornaments up and call it good. Woot. Happy Mid-Thirties!

Nas said...

This year we made a book tree!

Lisa said...

I'm a lover of natural things so I can say a white tree never crossed my mind. They sure are stunning decorated though.