Monday, March 17, 2014

MY LIVE, not so really but kinda, INTERVIEW WITH LEIGH COVINGTON

It was a dark and stormy night...

When I walked into the bathroom of an exclusive high end restaurant with golden arches, the stalls were occupied, and I was hurting. As a bathroom door opened, so did the mouth of LEIGH COVINGTON, who was mid-gorging on a pad of butter. "Leigh? Is this where you've been hiding from us bloggers?" She nodded, continuing to chew. We sparked conversation instantly having not talked in so long.

*This is a creative writing exercise. Hot actors were harmed in the process.

1.  WWE called. They want you in the ring! What's your character name, look, & famous move?
Little Bo Sleep cause I look so sweet, but I've got a mean sleeper move - oh yeah, & I carry a stick.
I'll remember to bring my night time shears.
Unfortunately, I don't think you'll be able to find them. Not that I know anything about that.

2. Can you do the chicken jerk?
Say what?
You did it! Great way of being a chicken and a jerk at the same time! So impressive.
LOL! Oh my gosh! I was seriously searching online for some crazy dance move. I think I'll make one up! We can rock it together!
OKAY SERIOUSLY...I didn't ask you to do it twice.

3. My bowels are ___________
On FIRE! (EEK! Why did that pop in my head?) My bowels are fine. REALLY!
Ohhhh...sorry. The answer we were looking for was "in an uproar". That a shame. Would you like a mint?
How 'bout a Tums? Or some Pepto?
Sorry I used the last doing the chicken jerk.

4. Spirit fingers or raise the roofs?
Raise the roof baby! Although I was a cheerleader, so maybe I'm cheating on myself.
Whoa. That's hot.
Quite the visual, isn't it?
*holds kaleidoscope up & twists it* Yes, yes it is...

5. Date night! What actors are we double dating?
OOH! Gerard Butler and Hugh Jackman! I don't even care which one I get!
I care! If Gerard is 300 Gerard - he's MINE!!! You keep the hairy guy that'll claw you while you hug!
That works for me! I love Gerard, but Hugh can leave claw marks any time he wants. OOH BABY!
I'll grab the Neosporin next to my mints.

6. If we made a reality show, what would it be called?
Rookie Writers on the Road. (Just think we could travel for inspiration)
Sorry, was filming you stuffing your face while saying that. Can you do it again but pretend to choke? Makes for way better TV!
Dude, I already choked once & you forgot to press the record button! We need ratings here, but I can only choke so many times!
Said the lady that just wants me to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation. I told you...not till you take the mint!!

7. Better dancer: John Travolta or Channing Tatum?
Hands down, Channing Tatum! I bet he's a better kisser too! Don't you think?
*kisses Channing* Yes. Oh sorry, I smudged your poster.
He's so talented, he even kisses good from his posters. Talk about skill!
Wait, why is there a worn spot on his mouth? Oh my gosh. We just did mouth to mouth minus resuscitation.

8. Can you pass the butter?
You didn't say PLEEEASE!
Are you implying that I butter say please??? Channing poster torn!
*cries uncontrollably while trying to tape poster back together* CURSE YOU AQUA SCUM!!!

9. Hobo skirt or kilt?
Or neither? Okay, a kilt! Everyone should go down that road at least once, right?
*puts on kilt* I feel breezy. *drops butter* Crap, you may want to pick that up for me. I did the Full Monty kilt.
Nope! You ripped the poster, you have to pick it up yourself! And Hugh is holding Gerard back so he can't help you.
*pops mint in mouth* We're gonna be here a while...

10. I feel bad asking but did I hear you saying this while opening your window: "And I say hey...hey...I said hey, what's going on."
*sings* Twenty-five years and my life is still, trying to get up that great big hill of hope, for a destination!!
I'm sure the Wolverine Hugh can just throw you up there. Seriously.
You're right! Thanks to your fab problem solving skills, I will forgive you about the poster and by a new one! And blow you a kiss. Have you figured out how to pick up that butter yet?
Yes! I scooted it near Hugh and Gerard. They both slipped on it, rendering them of their clothes. A flash went off, & magically new posters for you & me were made. Chicken jerk score!!

 
**RECAP**
I knew I loved you for a reason! Talk about a serious win-win! I always like to surround myself with positive thinkers who can turn a "slippery" situation into a good one, and you are exactly that - and MORE! So I will be sure to always give you butter to spill when we're on a double date with sexy men. And an uber big hug for having me over for this crazy interview. Talk about the best way to get my creative juices flowing! You are hilarious and this was so much fun! ((HUGS)) - oops! Now WE slipped on the butter. What a mess! Oh, well. At least Gerard and Hugh are here with us!
 
*laughs while rolling in butter* I had a blast, too!  Now shhh...I need to give everyone mouth to mouth & it makes it way easier if I can pretend you're all unconscious. So close your eyes... *pulls Gerard and Hugh up & sneaks away* I am the master of the chicken jerk! But, you still earned your badge! Put down the butter and accept your I SURVIVED MY INTERVIEW WITH TAMMY THERIAULT badge with slippery honor.
 

34 comments:

Natalie Aguirre said...

Fun interview, Leigh and Tammy. And I love your TV show idea. We could all be stars!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hilarious! Women doing the full Monty is much better than men, that's for sure.

Leigh Covington said...

You are FABULOUS Tammy! Thank you so much for having me over. I'm still trying to wash off all that butter, but I'm claiming my badge!!

Pat Hatt said...

Well even a hairy Hugh with claws may run away if your bowels are on fire. Imodium may fix that lol

ilima said...

Haha. Two of my favorite people talking butter covered hot guys...win!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Yes, Hugh, hands down. Fun at the golden arches for sure.

Julie Luek said...

As always fun and keeping us in laughter!

Suzi said...

Little Bo Sleep-uh oh. I think I'll stay on Leigh's good side when I meet her at Storymakers. :)

Elephant's Child said...

I have been smiling so widely my face hurts. Which is a very sneaky way of causing pain that you ladies adopted. I might even have to lift my boycott on the Golden Arches...

Jessie Humphries said...

I agree with the 300 warrior over the wolverine. Awesome interview!

Lynda R Young said...

Lol, funniest interview I've read in ages!

Tammy Theriault said...

Thanks to everyone coming by!!! I WILL GIVE YOU ALL BUTTER!

Stacy S. Jensen said...

Now that made me laugh. Oh, and I see we get butter, yum.

Medeia Sharif said...

Great double date idea and I didn't know Channing was a great kisser via poster.

Fun interview!

Mark Koopmans said...

I may never eat a buttery sandwich watching a Hugh and/or Gerard movie again.

I think I am scarred for life...

PS: "I can't believe it's not butter... it's Hugh" (possible new slogan for the yellow tub?

Well done Leigh for surviving Tammy's creative a la Dr. Seuss mind :)

S.P. Bowers said...

Hahahahahahaha!

And don't diss the kilt!

Rachel Schieffelbein said...

Lol! Well that was fun! You two are so funny. :)
Also, Tammy, your blog is so cute! I love it. :)

Elizabeth Seckman said...

Channing IS the better kisser. ;)

Carrie Butler said...

And the container shall say: I can't believe it's not Butler! ;)

Tammy Theriault said...

THANKS EVERYONE FOR THE WONDERFUL YET CHEESY AND LOVABLE COMMENTS!!

Morgan said...

Oh my gosh... laughing...

I love the Hugh and Gerard bit... SO FUNNY!!!!

Love you gals!!!

klahanie said...

Hi human, Tammy,

Or as my alleged human, Gary, calls you, "Tam-bare!" I've seen your comments all over blogsville. Still, I, this adorable little doggy don't mind you haven't visited me.

I eagerly wait a doggy treat from you for commenting at almost four in the morning. Thank you in advance!

And thus, once upon a time, I say hello to Leigh. Can you jerk a chicken? An interesting "churn" of events with your butter joke.

Now then, you two gosh darn adorable ladies, how about some photos of both of you rolling in butter?

Tammy! You are incredibly welcome for my comment! All the beast, um, all the best to the both of you!

Pawsitive wishes,

Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

Michelle Wallace said...

Thanks for the dose of fun ladies!
A visit to Tammy's place is always a guaranteed therapy session! And it's free!

Crystal Collier said...

Hah! That was awesome. *searching the floor for butter while backing toward the exit*

Lady Lilith said...

Very funny. Thanks for sharing such a great interview.

M Pax said...

Are you going to circulate that new poster? Thanks for the entertainment, writer ladies. :)

Tammy Theriault said...

���� thanks all for stopping by!!!

klahanie said...

Human, Tammy!

Thanks for your amazing response to all those who stopped by!!!

Pawsitive wishes,

Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

Robin said...

holy crap. this interview is hilarious. I'm so glad I popped over. Seriously, I wish I were even half this funny.

Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the preggo congrats:)

Teresa Cypher said...

This is hilarious! Best interview I've read in a very long time! :-)

Teresa Cypher said...

This is hilarious! Best interview I've read in a very long time! :-)

Teresa Cypher said...

This is hilarious! Best interview I've read in a very long time! :-)

Stephanie Faris said...

Sounds like you guys know how to have fun!

Jerry E Beuterbaugh said...

Surely this is a site well worth seeing.