I was swimming off the coast of Mexico, enjoying my new body with the help of some "new age" plastic surgery in Mexico. Hey! Don't judge a penny pincher! I spotted a shadowed hole in the rock dwellings nearby and one red spicy hot Father Dragon cannonballing right towards me! NOOO! After the huge wave passed, we ended up having a bit of a chat...
*This is a creative writing exercise...enjoy! No Dragons were harmed in the process.
1. So Al, may I call you Al? Or is it Dragon? Or how about El Dragon? Get it...Al Dragon? My Spanish humor is impeccable.
El Dragon would be good in Spanish, Al Dragon has a middle eastern flavor to it, since Al means "the" also. Hmm, Tammy, I think you're up to something here. I do like Al Dragon, I think I'll keep it for the next year.
That's awesome, because now...I get ALL the royalties. Your welcome!
2. WWE called me back, you know, from previous interviews. They're interested in a new character. Give me your name, intro music, and special move.
Name: Dragon, Al Dragon. It sounds like special agent. Not bad, eh? Intro Music: Conga Fury by Juno Reactor. Not bragging, but I have powerful hips for conga. Special Move: Patada Azteca or Aztec Kick
I have seen those hips. Watched them on the cave dance floor. Sweating to Richard Simmons.
3. Ocean & Rain. One thing in common. And go!
Range. It can go from giving life to bringing a catastrophe.
Oh...well, my answer was they both wet your pants.
There is an advantage then that dragons don't wear pants...or any type of cloth for that matter. We go around in all our glory.
So THAT'S why girls sing "Glory, Glory Hallelujah" as they pass!
4. I once passed out in Mexico. I'll pretend it was the "water". What's your excuse?
My excuse is that I didn't know the dwarves had changed the water for mezcal and tequila. Not until I noticed the worms on your glass.
Those are caterpillars. You see, I'm THAT daring that I'll take the risk of swarming butterflies in my belly, or as some call it...anxiety.
Wow! And to think then they were caterpillars drunk in Mexican mezcal...I can only imagine the result. You're one brave woman! Is that El Mariachi Loco song that I hear coming from your belly?
5. Who wore it best: Me or a super hot Victoria's Secret model?
You, of course. There is no super model that had looked hottest than you did. I and the dwarves were very impressed.
WHOA...I just felt those butterflies hatch to your answer. I need to reread that on those days were chocolate says hello to my fat cells, and creates multitudes of babies on my thighs and belly.
6. Tell me what tree you've been stalking me from?
It was the oak over there. I am sure those who saw me, if any, have thought I was a possum. I'm a master of disguise!
I knew it was you, hence why I put that hot model cut out at the window and was talking behind it. I mean...it was me!
I know. I have the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a fox...here in my snack bag. Want some?
Just feed it through the mouth hole of the model cut out. I'll make sure it joins the mariachi band swimming in my belly. Or as they call it - X FACTOR extreme locations!
7. Best "girl next door" look: Sandra Bullock or your neighbor that's...a girl?
In a general consensus and taking into consideration I don't restrain the dwarves the use of binoculars, the neighbor.
That explains the leaning branches.
8. What does intogritty mean to you? Because we all know integrity is a lost art, right?
Intogritty..hmm, the tendency to show resolution and courage. Or fancying harsh and unpleasant stuff. Integrity might as well be a lost art but not for me. I have a lot of lost art in my treasure chamber. You can find integrity there for sure.
I don't know. Caves are dark, damp, and grimy...definitely a place where an introgritty person would dwell and give their dwarves new binoculars with high tech lenses. Plus, I would hardly say pics of your neighbor is "lost art". You're quite the Al Diablo Dragon.
Busted again! But just a little because I only pay for the toys. Dwarves are the true devils. Never trust hairy little men pretending to be Christmas adornments. Lucky you didn't see their cupids in February. I would have to pay you for burnt retina then.
Maybe I'll meet them in the winter when I'd be certain their shriveled and cold...that's the elves I mean.
9. What is that horrendous sound you're making?
Hahaha, I'm still digesting my last meal. It had a pulse when I swallowed it.
Was it the possum stealing your oak tree spot?
*Innocent look* Hmm yeees...
10. I know this is a bit personal but - do you have the time, to listen to me whine? About nothing and everything all at once? Are you one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone no doubt about it?
Versatility is my third name, just after Margarita. No, just kidding. About Margarita. I am versatile. I can be tragic, melodramatic, drama king, neurotic, patient, understandingsweetandsensiblelovingbeing. *breathes deeply & grins* All depends on what you need.
A yes or no, but your treasured intogritty has answered for you. Yes? No?
Yes, whine all you wish. I have cotton in my ears - I mean, I have come here to please.
Well, that little dance your elves are doing will give you some tips. No! I refuse to twerk with you elves! Back away or I'll rev up Al Dragon's conga hips on ya!!
Throw the model cut out through the window and they'll follow. I have heard parents are responsible for the kind of toys they give to their children and the ideas those toys put in their heads. Now I see why. Lesson learned: Never put together lonely dwarves with binoculars, hot working environment and hot neighbors.
Don't forget what else we learned: Your conga hips don't lie as they swing and take down elves, girlie neighbors, binoculars, possums, and tequila shots everywhere! ARRIBBA ARRIBBA, TODA LA GENTE!! Now take your badge, wear it all up and down those fiery scales!