Monday, December 9, 2013

MY LIVE, not so really but kinda, INTERVIEW WITH AL DIAZ

It was a beautiful sunny day...
I was swimming off the coast of Mexico, enjoying my new body with the help of some "new age" plastic surgery in Mexico. Hey! Don't judge a penny pincher! I spotted a shadowed hole in the rock dwellings nearby and one red spicy hot Father Dragon cannonballing right towards me! NOOO! After the huge wave passed, we ended up having a bit of a chat...

*This is a creative writing exercise...enjoy! No Dragons were harmed in the process.

1. So Al, may I call you Al? Or is it Dragon? Or how about El Dragon? Get it...Al Dragon? My Spanish humor is impeccable.
El Dragon would be good in Spanish, Al Dragon has a middle eastern flavor to it, since Al means "the" also. Hmm, Tammy, I think you're up to something here. I do like Al Dragon, I think I'll keep it for the next year.
That's awesome, because now...I get ALL the royalties. Your welcome!

2. WWE called me back, you know, from previous interviews. They're interested in a new character. Give me your name, intro music, and special move.
Name: Dragon, Al Dragon. It sounds like special agent. Not bad, eh? Intro Music: Conga Fury by Juno Reactor. Not bragging, but I have powerful hips for conga. Special Move: Patada Azteca or Aztec Kick
I have seen those hips. Watched them on the cave dance floor. Sweating to Richard Simmons.

3. Ocean & Rain. One thing in common. And go!
Range. It can go from giving life to bringing a catastrophe.
Oh...well, my answer was they both wet your pants.
There is an advantage then that dragons don't wear pants...or any type of cloth for that matter. We go around in all our glory.
So THAT'S why girls sing "Glory, Glory Hallelujah" as they pass!

4. I once passed out in Mexico. I'll pretend it was the "water". What's your excuse?
My excuse is that I didn't know the dwarves had changed the water for mezcal and tequila. Not until I noticed the worms on your glass.
Those are caterpillars. You see, I'm THAT daring that I'll take the risk of swarming butterflies in my belly, or as some call it...anxiety.
Wow! And to think then they were caterpillars drunk in Mexican mezcal...I can only imagine the result. You're one brave woman! Is that El Mariachi Loco song that I hear coming from your belly?

5. Who wore it best: Me or a super hot Victoria's Secret model?
You, of course. There is no super model that had looked hottest than you did. I and the dwarves were very impressed.
WHOA...I just felt those butterflies hatch to your answer. I need to reread that on those days were chocolate says hello to my fat cells, and creates multitudes of babies on my thighs and belly.

6. Tell me what tree you've been stalking me from?
It was the oak over there. I am sure those who saw me, if any, have thought I was a possum. I'm a master of disguise!
I knew it was you, hence why I put that hot model cut out at the window and was talking behind it. I mean...it was me!
I know. I have the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a fox...here in my snack bag. Want some?
Just feed it through the mouth hole of the model cut out. I'll make sure it joins the mariachi band swimming in my belly. Or as they call it - X FACTOR extreme locations!

7. Best "girl next door" look: Sandra Bullock or your neighbor that's...a girl?
In a general consensus and taking into consideration I don't restrain the dwarves the use of binoculars, the neighbor.
That explains the leaning branches.
*Tsk* Busted!

8. What does intogritty mean to you? Because we all know integrity is a lost art, right?
Intogritty..hmm, the tendency to show resolution and courage. Or fancying harsh and unpleasant stuff. Integrity might as well be a lost art but not for me. I have a lot of lost art in my treasure chamber. You can find integrity there for sure.
I don't know. Caves are dark, damp, and grimy...definitely a place where an introgritty person would dwell and give their dwarves new binoculars with high tech lenses. Plus, I would hardly say pics of your neighbor is "lost art". You're quite the Al Diablo Dragon.
Busted again! But just a little because I only pay for the toys. Dwarves are the true devils. Never trust hairy little men pretending to be Christmas adornments. Lucky you didn't see their cupids in February. I would have to pay you for burnt retina then.
Maybe I'll meet them in the winter when I'd be certain their shriveled and cold...that's the elves I mean.

9. What is that horrendous sound you're making?
Hahaha, I'm still digesting my last meal. It had a pulse when I swallowed it.
Was it the possum stealing your oak tree spot?
*Innocent look* Hmm yeees...

10. I know this is a bit personal but - do you have the time, to listen to me whine? About nothing and everything all at once? Are you one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone no doubt about it?
Versatility is my third name, just after Margarita. No, just kidding. About Margarita. I am versatile. I can be tragic, melodramatic, drama king, neurotic, patient, understandingsweetandsensiblelovingbeing. *breathes deeply & grins* All depends on what you need.
A yes or no, but your treasured intogritty has answered for you. Yes? No?
Yes, whine all you wish. I have cotton in my ears - I mean, I have come here to please.
Well, that little dance your elves are doing will give you some tips. No! I refuse to twerk with you elves! Back away or I'll rev up Al Dragon's conga hips on ya!!


THE RECAP

Throw the model cut out through the window and they'll follow.  I have heard parents are responsible for the kind of toys they give to their children and the ideas those toys put in their heads. Now I see why. Lesson learned: Never put together lonely dwarves with binoculars, hot working environment and hot neighbors.
Don't forget what else we learned: Your conga hips don't lie as they swing and take down elves, girlie neighbors, binoculars, possums, and tequila shots everywhere! ARRIBBA ARRIBBA, TODA LA GENTE!! Now take your badge, wear it all up and down those fiery scales!


28 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Whine all you want, I have cotton in my ears - smart dragon!
So the dwarves have been peeping on your neighbor? And to think I let those guys use my cloning machine...
Great interview, you two!

DAVID WALSTON said...

That was too much fun!
Awesome interview.
*note to self stay away from the Oak tree spot*

Tony Laplume said...

That's a little of the Dragon I've come to know and love!

River Fairchild said...

You've been busted but good, Al!
*checks all the trees outside for hairy little men and one big dragon*
Excellent parrying...or partying. Whichever tango you two were doing.
Just thinking of the dwarves posing as cupids makes my eyes water. I need more tequila...

Pat Hatt said...

lol what a bunch of dwarves, think they sang heigh ho one too many times

Christine Rains said...

Awesome interview! It was hot and spicy and much better than Dancing with the Stars.

Johanna Garth said...

Love it! :)

But according to my son (who is home on a snow day) dragon's DO wear pants!

Elephant's Child said...

Love the intogritty. I like wine with my whine.
Great interview - and thank you both.

Al Diaz said...

This was the best interview ever, hahahaha. Thank you very much for the invitation, Tammy. Sorry about the dwarves' behavior. I've taken away the binoculars for good. Dragon Hugs!

Tammy Theriault said...

Um, I stole the binoculars!!!

Carrie Butler said...

Hah! Entertaining, as always. :)

M.J. Fifield said...

Seriously fun interview. I always love reading these!

Jeff Hargett said...

When everything else fails, blame a dwarf. LOL

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

You are one tough, scary interview lady, even as an international reporter. But Al Dragon Sir is tough enough to handle it.

Lexa Cain said...

You were both so funny. I liked the rain/ocean question and answer! Fun post, keep the mezcal flowing and the conga line growing! :-)

Tammy Theriault said...

Thanks for stopping by everyone!!!

Donna Hole said...

"I have the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a fox...here in my snack bag. Want some?"

Now that was my favorite answer, lol.

This was lots of fun to read.

.......dhole

Emily R. King said...

Always lots of fun! Great questions, Tammy!

Al Diaz said...

Tammy is a genius (Now I wonder what will you do with so many binoculars, girl. Nothing good, I'm sure.)

Thanks everyone for dropping by. Really glad you are having fun!

Morgan said...

Laaaaaughing...

Love it, Tammy.

Love it, Al.

The pair of you = Awesome. Both of you ROCK. :)

klahanie said...

Hey Tammy and the dragon dude,

More reasons for me to go back to Mexico. Ah yes, Cancun, Tulum and Mexico City.

The worms in the tequila are supposed to alter your state of awareness. Tammy would certainly have some form of awareness when she interviewed you.

Thanks for bringing further awareness of Al. Tammy you is da bestest. Yes and before my comment starts to dragon...I suddenly leave!

Lady Lilith said...

Nice interview. Thank you for sharing it.

S.K. Anthony said...

Hahahhaah still digesting his last meal.. oh my. This interview was so much fun, I'm still cracking up from your hilarious-ness!

*Me loves*

Kelley Lynn said...

What a fantastic interview!! Haha. This was great. just what I needed on my Friday :) Have a great weekend!

Mark Koopmans said...

I swear these interviews are like the best evah!

(TT, did you once work for the Feds??)

Al, thanks for sharing, but I'm going to keep my fox away from you :)

Merry Christmas, y'all :)

Yolanda Renee said...

Truly funny you two! Good job!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Tammy and Al - love the take on the dragon interview ... I much prefer you in all your glory - love the overlapping scales ..

Have fun the two of you .. cheers Hilary

Blogger said...

Sprinter - Function One (160BPM)