It was a dark and stormy night...
There I was, walking the streets in my high heels heading to speak to a few lawyers and get the best rates. But something caught my eye. There she was, M Pepper, sitting on a bench with stuffed dolls and a suited man behind her carrying a suitcase. What...the...
I forgot what I was doing and sat to talk.
And you won't BELIEVE what I learned!
*This interview style is for a creative writing practice.
1. I'm giving you one phone call for 10mins. Who are you calling?
$10 for an answer?
Well, that IS more than my lawyer pays...*yoink* (takes the money)
Your lawyer PAYS you??? He's so hired!!
2. If you were a couch, what would you say as I plop down hard on you?
Oof. (The amount of cursing would depend on how many of my children were in the room)
Well I started jumping on you in high heels. Man, I love these high heels! *bounce*
*#@!&% (Sorry, kids. You were gonna hear it sometime, might as well be from me.)
3. What would your business card say as the tagline for yourself?
Well, as it says on my Twitter tag: "award-winning screenwiter & all-around muse/good luck charm"...Though my lawyer says I cannot make such a claim exept for entertainment purposes.
Your lawyer is such a Debbie downer! I'd so wear you for a good luck charm.
I know, right? See how I sparkle in the sunlight?
Quiet!! My lucky charms must never speak! It ruins my mojo.
4. If I were to sell you on the black market, what would be a good asking price?
Oh, I'm priceless. Like, seriously, I don't think you could give me away...my parents tried a few times but had no takers until my husband came along. Sucker!
5. Would you like to pillow fight?
There are pillows in those pillow cases, right?
Possibly my high heels...possibly...
I think I'll pass; I'm out of swears.
6. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
Well, when you put it that way...No.
How about now? ajdifodapfjmdsm
I speak English, French, and a smattering of Japanese, but not Norwegian. Sorry.
My bad, I thought you spoke "swears".
7. Who is funnier: David Spade or Chris Farley?
Are we doing old school SNL? I always liked Dennis Miller when he helmed the news desk. What great hair he had.
NO! You can't bring him in. He was a dunce for a newsman! Kevin Nealon all the way!! Wait...was that Spade or Farley?
8. May I use your credit card?
Even I'm not allowed to use my credit card.
Screw it. I'll just put my high heels back on, give your hubs a wink, and steal his.
I'm contractually obligated to bring Sherlock, John and/or Jim with me on all outings. They are my chaperones. See, ask my lawyer...On second thought, don't. He refuses to answer any questions, even mine.
Wow. I'll think I'll take back that $10 and give it to him so he can buy a freakin' personality! Let ME be your lawyer!
10. Now I'm shy to ask this but do you think you could whip it, into shape, shape it up, get straight, move forward, try to detect, it's not to late, to whip it, whip it good?
Sounds like a rigorous exercise program...I'm kind of lazy, though I do like long walks in the hills near my home and have been known to hit the sports club from time to time. I do leave the detecting to Sherlock, though. (Scratch that, my lawyer is vigorously shaking his head for some reason.)
So that's where the sudden snow came from...dang lawyer!
I need a new lawyer. And I swear more than I should. (Comes from being raised by sailors, I suspect)
Don't forget what else we learned today. $10 goes a long way. Not only does it pay you, but buys me new heels for my pumps after ruining mine during the interview. But I'm willing to just charge something on the credit card I took from your hubs and call it even. But this badge is free! You earned your "I SURVIVED MY INTERVIEW WITH TAMMY THERIAULT" badge!! Wear it loud and proud!
*Would like to be interviewed and have some fun? Let me know!