Tuesday, April 30, 2013

MY LIVE, not so really but kinda, CHAT WITH GARY PENNICK!!

It was a dark and stormy night...
I spied Gary on his computer through his first floor window. He was laughing and typing readily while his dog, the infamous Penny, ran circles around his legs. So that's where Gary gets his energy. I thought thinking of all those long comments he writes. But can he interview without them??? To be continued...

**This interview is a test of creative writing skills!**
  
1. So, um, what is this place you asked me to meet you at?
 
I asked if you would kindly meet up with me at Harrison Hot Springs, British Columbia. You know, right beside the, "Sasquatch Parking Only", car space.
 
Dang it, Gary! Did you forget to pay rent on your space, again??  I’m NOT paying it for you this time. NO NO NO!!

Okay, you're correct, I didn't pay rent on MY my space.  However, my friend, the Sasquatch, told me I could now park for free.  And nobody's gonna argue with a Sasquatch! 
 
I just friend requested you...crossing my fingers you'll except!

2. If you could make me into a gnome, what would it look like?
 
I would really enjoy making you into a gnome. Make you a famous gnome. Be a celebrity in 'Gnome', Alaska. See you as the main feature in the next edition of 'Better Gnomes and Gardens'. You would look just like Geoffrey the garden gnome whose hat lights up when he gets exited. Here he is:
 Um, Gary…that’s not his “hat”. But your gnome seems to be very hairy.  You really gotta stop your Sasquatch searching. I swear you must be from Maine. You’re very obsessed with hairy things…

Actually, there is a hat on his head.  And it is his hat!  At the time, Geoffrey was smashing his way through a box.  That's why you cannot see his hat!  I don’t go searching for the Sasquatch.  The Sasquatch finds me.  In fact, my pal the Sasquatch, has given me ideas about hairstyles.  Or is that furstyles....Never been to Maine.  Is it nice there?
  
Well like I said, "Maine" is quite a "hairy" place. Your obsessions will fit in nicely.


3. Is it true that you tried to give me roses from the 711 down the street?
 
Yes, it's true. However, the 711 was out of roses. I managed to get some roses from the gas station at half price.
Wow! What a bargain shopper you are! Well, I guess then there is just no reason your Sasquatch parking spot wasn’t paid for… now is there.

I like to save money whenever I can.  The dude at the gas station told me if I waited a couple of hours longer, I could have had the roses for free by taking them out of the garbage can. Hello?!  The Sasquatch parking spot is for the Sasquatch.  The Sasquatch parks for free. The Sasquatch does whatever it wants. 

I’m curious what he “parks”. Maybe his big fat hairy butt…
 
4. Whoa...what's that stuff you're drinking?
It's combination of 7UP and V8 juice. I'm hoping by drinking this combination that my adding up skills will improve.
Just don’t buy a Dr. Pepper. I hear they only take full payment upon visits…but you can make that money up buying selling your Coke.
So what you're saying is that if I sell Coke, I can afford to visit Dr. Pepper.  Thanks for the suggestion. 

These suggestions have not been tested by the FDA.
 
5. If you could have a date with one celebrity, name her...or him.
Besides you? Okay, let me think. Dating one of those Kardashian ladies would be most fascinating. Always wanted to date somebody who has a name that sounds like some alien lifeform on Star Trek.

Wait till you see them with no pancake makeup on and girdles off…now you’re REALLY going to see some alien life forms!

Wow! Thanks for the visual I just had. Maybe better off trying to have a date with Joan Rivers. 

6. Gary? You ok?
No I'm not! That drink has made me sick. Knew I should of put the V8 in the container first.

I’ll take you to see Diet Dr. Pepper…he charges less!! Come on!

Oh is Diet Dr. Pepper still in this country.  I heard he moved to Britain where you can see him for free.

7. I’m going to lock you in a room full of one thing to eat only; what is that food?
Prawns! That way I could think of fish puns, just for the halibut. Of course, I would soon clam up before I started to flounder.
And now you having a Sasquatch parking spot just made sense to me…
That Sasquatch parking spot can be used by me. The Sasquatch thinks of me as a brother.

Does he refer to you as his little brother “Harry”?

 8. Would you say you can predict the future?
Not really. Although I can predict the past.

9. If you were to box one person in the ring, who do you want me to call?
That depended if somebody wanted to be placed in a box. Okay, call Rocky, as in Sylvester Stallone and not the flying squirrel.

*beep*beep* oh hey, he texted me back! Oh! He says he has to do another Expendables sequel and is low on black magic marker for his eyebrows and goatee so it’s a no go on account of his sagging face without it syndrome…buzzkill!! Got more Coke?

Oh well, send in Rocky the flying squirrel and his buddy, Bullwinkle the moose. I'll box 'em both! Oh yeah! I've got some Pepsi! Hope that's allowed.

I hear if you drink it before the match you’ll get a little “pep” in your step and speak in Spanish… “si”!

10. I know this is quite the personal question, but I must ask…are you a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world?
Of course I am. "I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic!"

Why are the little gnomes gathering behind you singing it, too?? Gary…I’m scared… Geoffrey’s hat just lit.
Oh how the little gnomes love to sing that song. Whenever I go outside in my garden wearing my blonde wig adn short skirt, they start singing that song. Don't be scared of Geoffrey's lit-up hat. It means he likes you. He really, really like you!
WHOA…what a visual.

 
**THE RECAP**

 Oh my, have I actually survived my interview with you, Tammy? I'm still in a state of shock that you would interview me! So let me see. I asked you to kindly meet up at the "Sasquatch Parking Only" location in Harrison Hot Springs. We established the fact that the Sasquatch is my friend and the Sasquatch has assured me I can park for free. Yep, nobody gonna' argue with a big hairy creature! Good news, the Sasquatch and myself are now officially your friends.

I informed you that if I could actually turn you into a gnome, you'd look like the bearded dude in the photo. Yep, you'd be a celebrity gnome and be in demand on every talk show going.

We worked out that I'm real thoughtful when it comes to buying you roses. I'm having a rethink about drinking a 7UP and V8 combo. It just doesn't add up. I would be better off trying to date Joan Rivers than some Kardashian alien lifeform. I'm hopeful that Dr.Diet Pepper can make me feel better after drinking that weird drink I had. I'd love to be locked in a room full of prawns. I can predict the past. I may well be boxing Rocky and Bullwinkle and end up with a "pep" in my step and speak in Spanish.."si!" I'll drink to that. To conclude, I'm a Barbie girl and the little gnomes in my magical garden love to sing that song whenever they see me wearing my blonde wig and short skirt.

How did I do, Tammy?

DANG IT, GARY!! YOU WERE SOOOOOO CLOSE! SO CLOSE TO NOT DOING A LONG COMMENT!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! In other news, I gotta give you mad props for ALMOST making it through. Heck I'll STILL give you a badge!! Wear it loud and proud!!


If you'd like to have a little fun and be interviewed, let me know!!
Email me at: tammybr12@gmail.com

66 comments:

Suzi said...

Is that a gnome or Santa Claws?

Another great interview. I'd never thought of mixing V8 and 7up. But then again, V8 makes me gag, and I don't think 7up wold change that.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

V8 and 7UP - I'd try it.

I'd like to meet Sasquatch - any chance of an introduction?

mr seckman said...

Gary and Tammy! What an awesome pair. Oh and Penny...can't forget Penny. Hope she isn't jealous about that Sasquatch relationship.

Pat Hatt said...

LOL awesome interview and a dog the cat actually likes too, that is rare, quite the pair and avoid that nasty drink, pour it down the sink.

Laura Eno said...

I think you should give the 7Up and V-8 combo to the Sasquatch and the gnome. They'll become good buddies and exchange body hair.
Glad to see you survived the ordeal, Gary! :)

Tammy Theriault said...

Suzi: the gnome is quite...interesting? :D

L. Diane: I'll see if it's possible :)

Mr. Seckman: Penny seemed jealous, but that could have been the mix drink

Pat: Sure will!!

Suze said...

You're back!

I remember the first time someone sent me the link to Barbie's 'Aqua Girl.' It made me kinda sad. Oh, and 'Better Gnomes and Gardens' is, like, my favorite mag ever.

Suze said...

Um. I got the name to that song totally messed up.

Al Diaz said...

Hahaha, Gary must be very good predicting the past. Who could have imagined? I didn't know he liked hairy people, should have seen that coming. Way to go with the interview, very funny. :)

Tammy Theriault said...

Suze: yes! Was very busy! Missed u!

Al: thanks for coming by, Al!!

Carrie Butler said...

I love these posts so much! LOL The bit about pancake makeup and girdles killed it. :)

Heather Holden said...

Oh, gosh, gnomes singing "Barbie Girl"...now I'm scared, too! XD

I can't help but wonder if a violinist like this shows up to help them stay in tune... http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=-gcAkAkgWdc

Mark Means said...

Gary is awesome and don't let him fool you...there's a method to his madness.

Great post! :)

Tammy Theriault said...

carrie: we love you back!

heather: it's a scary site!

mark: it's strangly true!

Dani said...

Hahaha! This had me laughing. The gnomes were freaking me out a little singing Barbie Girl. I loved that song when it came out!!

Lexa Cain said...

Ha! I love the Sasquatch parking space. And Gary's right, Kardashian should definitely be the name of an alien race on Star Trek! Great post! :-)

Michael Di Gesu said...

Such fun Tammy! I always get a good laugh at your blog... Thanks!

Tammy Theriault said...

Dani: me too! :)

Lexa: they are some creepy girls.

Michael: always love when you come!

T. Drecker said...

You're now officially friends with a Sasquatch. That is cool ;)

Jay Noel said...

I must be tired. I had to read "Hairy Maine" a few times. Ha!

Christine Rains said...

I want to see what the Sasquatch drives too. He's got to have something cool like a Harley. Hey Tammy, you could ride with him! Awesome interview. Congrats to Gary on surviving. :)

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Fabulous interview with our good friend Gary. Did you know he recites the alphabet backwards and types upside down? Nuff said eh?

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Gary, you don't want to date a Kardashian - she'll suck the IQ points right out of you!
So Sasquatch has the best parking spots? Lucky devil.

Jeff Hargett said...

Wonderful interview. I really appreciated all the wit. My kind of humor.

Elise Fallson said...

You survived Gary and you were great! And now I want to sing with the gnomes. I'm about their height, I should blend right in, except for the occasional false note or two.

Tammy Theriault said...

T. Decker: I know! Scary!

Jay: hahaha...get some sleep!

Christine: I'm down for that!

My baby: wow! What talent he has!

Alex: oh yeah...that's why people around them kardashins are nuts

Jeff: min, too :)

Elise: hey babygirl! We can be shorties together!

Stephen Tremp said...

Thanks for stopping by my new place and saying hello! Saw your YouTube clip and confirmed writers are multi-talented people.

Gotta love Zoidberg!

Empty Nest Insider said...

Shouldn't the badge read, "I survived interviewing Gary?!" You were excellent sparring partners. If you took your act on the road your cups would overflow with unlimited soft drinks!
Then you wouldn't have to sell coke or visit Diet Dr. Pepper! This was FUN!

Julie

Samantha May said...

I lost it at the Kardashian part :D

Also, I know Barbie Girl. I think that makes up for not knowing Poison...

Tammy Theriault said...

Stephen: wow..thanks for checking it out!

Empty nest: yes, gary is something...else!

Samantha: ok ok...ill give you that one! :)

Manzanita said...

To Tammy and Gary,
A fantastic interview. You hit all Gary's famous spots and it shouted success.
I always get my roses at the auto station too, but they smell a little of gasoline. It's OK if you hold them out the window as you drive.
Fun, fun, fun.
Manzanita

Melissa said...

I always love your interviews. :)

Shell Flower said...

Hahaha. I always wondered who actually got to park in the "Sasquatch Parking Only" at Harrison Hot Springs. I love that place. Gary, you are a very brave man to be interviewed, but you survived! Now you can go gnome and have a Pepsi.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Another great interview! V-8 and 7-Up, huh? I'd be willing to give it a shot... or drink a shot... of that. (With maybe a weeeee splash of bourbon...)

Tammy Theriault said...

Manzanita: great tip!

Melissa: and I always love when you come :)

Shell: was that a good joke or what??

Susan: ewww...nothing can help that concoction :)

Yolanda Renee said...

Great interview, that was some back and forth, but V8 and 7UP, nah, not good!

Pk Hrezo said...

lol... yall are a hoot!

Great answers Gary!
Tammy gives the best interviews. :)

Joylene Nowell Butler said...

Great interview, Gary and Tammy. Gary, mix Red Bull and Diet Coke, and you'll never look at Pep the same again! As for Sasqie, he's busy pruning my trees and eating last year's frozen bugs. He should be finished in a week or so. After that he'll be at the hairdressers. Seems they have something new for him this summer. Trends change, remember.

Anyhoo, I better get back to the gnome rehab facility before they notice I'm gone.

Cheerios!

Tammy Theriault said...

Yvonne: I know, right??

PK: hello ladylove!

Joylene: whoa...rehab for gnomes??? Gnome way!

Ida Chiavaro said...

Hairy in Maine and girdles kept me giggling. There's a drink in Australia called 4XXX Gary could try adding to the mix.

Munir said...

LOL Got to know a little bit more about Gary. I like the way you kept the interview pretty interesting. Thanks.

celeste holloway said...

Ha! Where in the world do you come up with this shite?!?! And why do you think it's funny to make me pee my pants?!?! Great interview! Congrats for almost making it through without a long comment, Gary. Tell the Yetty I say, "What's up?" :P

klahanie said...

Tammy!

I know, I know, you've been waiting, with baited breath. Never understood what baited breath was.

Anyway, that recap Gary did was way too long. In fact, I skimmed through the whole darned thing!

"Is that a gnome or Santa Claws?" Well Suzi, it's actually Geoffrey the garden gnome. On Christmas 'Elf' he does pretend he's Santa.

Diane, the Sasquatch is on its way with an interesting drink just for you!

mr seckman, Penny welcomes me getting into a relationship with the Sasquatch. She wants me to move out, anyway.

Pat Hatt, Penny is sending you an autographed um 'pawster'!

Laura Eno, The gnome seems to be turning into a Yeti. Thank you, I survived the interview.

Suze, Come on Barbie, let's go party...A year's supply of 'Better Gnomes and Gardens' is heading your way.

Al Diaz, I predict the past and my past was even hairier...

Tammy, I shall be right back cause I'm so nice n'stuff!

Gary

klahanie said...

Yay Tammy, I'm back!

Carrie Butler, a girdle full of pancakes is on its way. Have fun.

Heather Holden, the gnomes are going to be releasing a version of "Barbie Girl", just for you. Enjoy.

Mark Means, very kind of you. And my mad methods were inspired by your awesome self! :)

Dani, the gnome version of that song is way better :)

Lexa, the Sasquatch is on an upcoming new episode of Star Trek. He rids the starship of the alien Kardashians.

Michael Di Gesu, Tammy is da funnest n' stuff :)

T. Drecker, the Sasquatch is looking for more friends :)

Jay Noel, or hairy man pretending to be a Sasquatch?

Okay, be right back.....Now for a musical interlude, "I'm a Barbie girl..."

Tammy Theriault said...

Ida: he must chug that daily!

Munir: glad not to bore you :)

Celeste: I could have sworn I told you to wear depends when you visit my posts! :D

klahanie said...

Yay Tammy,

Part 3,

Christine Rains, the Sasquatch rides a Harley chopper. Actually, the Sasquatch can have any vehicle he wants. Its favourite is a SUV a Sasquatch Utility Vehicle...

Delores, thanks and yes I sometimes type uʍop ǝpısdn :)

Alex, my last two IQ points are getting worried. Sasquatch gets 'Hairy Hollywood' type parking spots.

Jeff, you are way too kind. Of course, I know how much you enjoy my incredible wit. Note my modesty :)

Elise, ah yep, I think I survived. The gnomes are always looking for an extra singer :)

Stephen Tremp, okay....

Julie, Tammy and myself are going to team up in the ring and take on Rocky and Bullwinkle :)

Samantha May, you have a great name. The Kardashians singing Barbie Girl.

Manzanita, thanks for that and your gas station roses are on the way :)

Melissa, Tammy interviews some amazingly awesome people :)

Shell Flower, I thought you might be familiar with the location. We both know what a beautiful setting it is. Thank you, I sorta survived:)

Susan Flett Swiderski, some splashing bourbon on its way.

Yolanda, sure I can't tempt you with that drink combo?

Pk Hrezo, we had a hoot. It was a deeply philosophical interview. I'm beyond grateful to Tammy.

Aha, another musical interlude....

klahanie said...

Tammy!

Part 4,

Joylene, Red Bull, evidently, gives you wings, eh. I knew the Sasquatch has been doing a bit of pruning for you. Good Sasquatch. Happy furcut. The gnome rehab facility is now available through universal elf care.

Ida, I'm off to Australia. Hope I Canberra it!

Munir, maybe you got to know more than you needed :)

celeste holloway, Yay for shite! Of course, even though I just piddled my pants, I still couldn't seem to help myself and leave a long comment. A Yeti is a Sasquatch without a suntan! :)

I'm going now. Tammy, you rock star, you!

Gary :)

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You couldn't have picked a more entertaining interviewee, Tammy. Great job. Gary, Joan Rivers = proof that God has a sense of humor.

Thanks to both of you for the fun over here, and sorry I'm so late to the party.

xoRobyn

Tammy Theriault said...

Gary: are you sure you didn't miss anyone??

Robin: missed you, and guess what?? Your not late! :D

klahanie said...

Hey Robyn,

I couldn't agree with you more. That Tammy sure knows how to pick the bestest n' stuff interviewee's :)

Never too late to join in one of Tammy's wild parties!

Gary :)x

klahanie said...

TAMMY!

Fabulous, sweet, adorable Tammy! I cannot even begin to express my gratitude for you allowing me the great privilege of being interviewed by you, yes you, Tammy, fabulous, sweet adorable Tammy!

Seriously, this has been good fun, n' stuff :)

Gary :)

Mark Koopmans said...

Another cracking great "interview" LOVED it, as always, (he said, from a survivor's POV :)

PS... Isn't baseball with the kids SO much fun :)

Julia Hones said...

Gary, you can't predict the future, but you can predict the past... that was hilarious. Hugs.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Tammy and Gary .. gosh it's easy to get Gary to park up isn't it .. just let that typing finger loose, the brain goes into mini convulsions and words revolve around - hitting the blog post with much hilarity - at least someone made sense of them .. I guess Penny keeps all of Leek under control and makes sense prevails..

How you do it .. I'll never know - my brain just has to do a double take! Cheers Hilary

klahanie said...

Hi Mark, you, good sir and my humble self, are indeed survivors of Tammy's deeply philosophical questions.

Speaking of baseball, they don't play baseball in England. However, folks have been known to purchase baseball bats in England. I wonder what they want them for...

Hi Julia, you are most kind and I'm hoping to make money out of predicting the past. If only I could predict the future and find out if I made any money out of predicting the past! Hugs to you :)

Hi Hilary, I don't know where Tammy is. Probably out signing autographs. Having a friend like the Sasquatch has its perks. I can park anywhere I like, well anywhere in British Columbia. Penny keeps me in line. If it wasn't for her, my interview with the awesome Tammy may have turned out surreal.

Tammy, where are you?

Tammy Theriault said...

Mark: YES! I LOVE watching my son's baseball games, but gary...oh my. He is carrying a bat, I better run!

Julia: gary predicts he will comment...that's pretty good for future predicting right??

Hilary: you are one funny girl! He is currently convolsing..but he calls it commenting.

Gary: dude...where's my car??

klahanie said...

Your Lamborghini is being serviced. I shall lend you my Aston Martin, DB5. Note the steering wheel is on the right hand side!

My Meddling Mind said...

Loved! 5 cracked me up:)) Glad I stopped by.

Madison

klahanie said...

Hi Madison, really glad you came and read the interview. I wonder what Mr. Spock would make of the Kardashians :)

Medeia Sharif said...

I'd like to try that drink combo.

You've figured the Kardashians' secret.

Fun post.

Old Kitty said...

I told Gary - I needed another shot of coffee to re-read this fabulously surreal interview!!! LOL!!

Take care
x

klahanie said...

Hi Medeia Sharif,

I'm sending a truckload of that drink combo to you:) The Kardashians, a threat to Captain Kirk and the gang. Thanks for commenting. Gary

Aha, Old Kitty,

A coffee drinking cat! Now that's surreal! LOL Gary :)x

David P. King said...

Oh, man! That was a riot. Awesome interview, you guys! I haven't listened to Aqua in forever ... :)

Tammy Theriault said...

Mendling: thanks for coming!

Medeia: I should write a book about it :D

Kitty: glad you came!!

David: catchy song, eh??

Tina said...

These interviews are so stinkin' hilarious I'm now totally addicted. I can't believe you hooked Gary!!! What a catch. Loved the Star Trek bit, the prawns, the math drinks...just all of it. How do you do it???
Tina @ Life is Good
Co-host, April 2013 A-Z Challenge Blog
@TinaLifeisGood, #atozchallenge

klahanie said...

Hi Tina,

Tammy is probably out signing autographs for dumbstruck, sorry, starstruck fans!

So being so nifty neato, I shall give a reply. Oh yes, Tammy begged and pleaded with me to be interviewed :) What a catch! Think surreal, Tina.

Life is good and it just got gooder n' stuff!

Gary :)