Monday, January 28, 2013

Let me reintroduce myself ... ON BROOOOADWAY!!

This is a broadway show of :
 
"Tammy Theriault"
 
 This show is brought to you by the makers of "Please Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself",
& produced by Steve, Elise, Mark, & C.M.
 

 
ACT I: Childhood


 Tammy thought a rubberband would make a good necklace,
almost choking her friend.
 
Tammy grew up in San Diego & once stepped on a live jellyfish thinking
"hmm...that doesn't feel so good".
 
She once wet her pants while sitting in a sandbox & said
"no guys, go ahead, I'll meet up with you later..."


ACT II: Teenager Years

 
While living in El Paso, she swam the Rio Grande.
 Then passed out while walking the next day...good times.

She typed 2 books on a word processor,
then pressed reformat thinking it meant "clean".

While learning to drive, she literally got out of the car...
it took off.
 
When dancing at a club in Juarez, her pants tore down the inside seam.
She held them the entire walk over the bridge to the U.S...
"no I'm not bringing any fruit over, sir...just my ripped pants."



ACT III: Adulthood

 
If any of her 4 kids are fighting, she's the one hollering "fight! fight! fight!"
Just kidding, she is actually the one handling the bets.
 
When her 2yr old cut open his chin, she used her nursing skills to bandage it. The ER MD said she did really good. She replied, "that's because I play a doctor on TV."
 
A client of hers called out "adios" when leaving a Mexican restaurant, but asked Tammy what it meant. She said, "you just cussed them out!" The client laughed...
(they get her humor luckily)
 
When a co-worker woke her up saying she's having a bad day, Tammy said, "want me to sing with no makeup on, looking grungy?" She said yes! Tammy walked to her den, sat at her piano & made this to help her smile...
 
video
 (points for hidden talent? well...not so hidden NOW is it?)
 
"Tammy Theriault" maybe coming to a town near you!!
 
Check out the 5-STAR REVIEWS:
 
Riddle Jenkens said: "Tammy Theriault" is funny& I mean it honey!
 
Debbie Downer said: I enjoyed the play. I cried. Because I'm sad that she hurt her foot.
 
Schizo Iyes said: I felt her everywhere...I mean, her play was good. Did you see that? She's everywhere.
 
Border Patrolmen #2 said: I would see it again; just for the Juarez re-enactment.
 
 
 And the moment ya'll been waiting for, the winner of the Elizabeth's MC Male celeb is: 
JOE MANGANIELLO!!
He had this to say:

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
(Don't worry, I hugged & cried with the losers, for several hours, more hugging then crying but I wanted to make sure they were ok...)
Congrats to Kari for the win!!
 




81 comments:

Dani said...

Hilarious! That was very creative and entertaining!

jaybird said...

Tammy- I love your Broadway show. You are too much. And Joe, oy, what can I say? Other than, there is a God!

T. Drecker said...

Bravo! I'll even give you a standing ovation. Nice to meet you again!

Livia Peterson said...

Entertaining! It was an awesome Broadway show! And it made me laugh! Great job, Tammy!

*makes an standing ovation*

Elise Fallson said...

Oh, so funny! But yo, I really hope you had your two books saved somewhere else... please tell me you did!
And love your video! Wish I could play piano like you or at least read music. I took lessons as a kid but was terrible at it. Let's just say I didn't quit the piano, the piano quit me.

And I stand and applaud as Joe Manganiello accepts his award. And I'm glad he wants to show us just how bad he feels... like us writers say, "show, don't tell." (;

J. A. Bennett said...

Seriously, you have mad piano skillz. Props! *bones*

Al Diaz said...

You play very nice and you're very funny. Nice to meet you! :)

S.P. Bowers said...

Total points for playing the piano. I took piano lessons for years as a kid and now can't play much. I'm always jealous of people who can play, until I remember I could always try practicing, then I just drop it.

michelle said...

Nice to re-meet you Tammy, especially from one pianist to another!
I can't seem to access your piano-playing video! Aaarrgh!
It's gonna be interesting to see how many fellow bloggers/writers sing or play piano... you're the fourth...


Michael Di Gesu said...

Hi, Tammy,

First let me say for so STANGE reason when I clicked onto your name for the blogfest, It brought me to MY blogger home page... What's up with that? So check the link on Stephen's page to make sure it isn't happening with everyone else. It might be just my glitch.

I have just one to say to your play .... GIRL you are HYSterICAL! I LOVe your sense of hUmoR...

VikLit said...

Hee how funny! What a great post!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Move over, Les Miz -- a new Broadway blockbuster has arrived!

Pat Hatt said...

haha great way to re-intro up, broadway will sure have many more rave reviews over you.

Andrew Leon said...

You let a car drive off without you? No wonder you ride a bike.
Did you see that some guy recently got run over by his dog? Yes, his dog was driving the car.

Suzi said...

Too funny. But didn't you want to take a stab at what might happen in Act IV? (That'd be like senior adulthood)

SC Author said...

Awesome! Haha, great story :D

R. Mac Wheeler said...

I'm FROM El Paso. You...or were you just visiting? Went to Ysleta 73,74, graduated from Irvin 76.

Happy to call Tampa home now. Visiting EP now and find the smog, litter and dust no fun.

Nick Wilford said...

I knew your contribution would be entertaining and you didn't disappoint. Bravo!

I had the same problem as Michael re the link... mysterious.

klahanie said...

Hey Tammy,

Another blogfest, you jest? Help, help!

Tammy, I can see you on Broadway, or way, way off Broadway....

Anyway, because I know you've been eagerly awaiting one of my award winning comments, here goes....

Jellyfish? I thought y'all would call it a 'Jellofish'. After all, y'all seem to call jelly, jello.

Okay, slightly serious, you have a varied and hilarious list and you seem to have been in a few embarrassing predicaments. And I know that you are a thoroughly decent lady because of that special tribute song you did for your friend who was having a bad day. You will be on American Idle, sorry, I meant, American Idol.

Hey maybe I should set up a blogfest that has links back to me, yes me, shy and humble me!

And a 6-Star Review from me:

Tammy Theriault is one of the most acclaimed off-the-wall comedians since the legendary Humpty Dumpty.

There you go and you are so welcome!

Your adoring fan,

Gary

Ruth Schiffmann said...

Love this post, Tammy. Sounds like your life is full of story fodder ;)

Elizabeth Seckman said...

YOU FREAKING KILL ME!!!!!

I may be smarter, but my post is LAME compared to yours. You have the creativity of a sane Picasso..with two ears.

Azara said...

This is SO awesome! My heart hurts for you just thinking of that reformat incident. Please tell me you had a back-up on a floppy disk somewhere.

Carrie Butler said...

I wish I would've found your blog sooner! Months of potential mischief... wasted. It's sad, really.

Sheena-kay Graham said...

That was excellent and the hidden talent threw me for a loop. Joe deserves the win, I picked Jensen but admitted Joe was hot too.

Mark Means said...

(claps wildly)

Bravo!! Bravo!!

Encore!!

Haha, awesome post and very nice to meet you, Tammy. New follower here and looking forward to more of your posts!

Scribbles From Jenn said...

Awesome! Definitely the most unique post I've seen so far. ENCORE! ENCORE!

Medeia Sharif said...

That was hilarious and I love your video.

Mark Koopmans said...

You are a bleedin' fruit and nut cake :)

LOVE that look at the end.. .hilarious :)

C.M.Brown said...

Very funny and entertaining! Great job!

Stephen Tremp said...

Thanks for the laughs! You could put together a RomCom with this material.

And thanks for participating in the Re-Introduce Myself Blogfest!

Julie Flanders said...

This is so funny! Best post I've seen yet for this fest. I can't wait for your Broadway show LOL.

Jackie said...

What a fun post! Very creative.
And thanks for the eye candy!!!

Martin Willoughby said...

You sound nuts. Ever thought of doing stand-up comedy?

cleemckenzie said...

Great! Great! Great! You get a third curtain call from me. And thanks for stopping in and following The Write Game.

I was supposed to take part in this hop, but a few things in life changed that.

Hope to see you again!

Shallee said...

Ha ha! You crack me up. I love the ripped-pants story. Definitely one of the best ones I've heard. :)

Laura said...

I love the way you've done your re-introduction, very entertaining :)

J.L. Campbell said...

Funny and eventful life, though I bet some of the stuff wasn't so funny in the moment. Good to meet you, Tammy.

Sean McLachlan said...

I've heard that the best way to cure a jellyfish sting is to pee on it. You could have cured one childhood mistake with another!

Emily R. King said...

Fuuny girl, Tammy, as always!

The Happy Whisk said...

You are a funny writer. I like that.

Samantha May said...

You are hilarious :D

Love the video too!

I stepped on a baby jellyfish once. My foot looked like a warped potato.

DL Hammons said...

I LOVED this!!!!! I'm so glad to be introduced/re-introduced to you!! :)

Trisha said...

Awesome post! It's so fun to see you in a video (awesome vid btw) and see that your written personality matches your real-life one. hehe

As I said on my blog as well, I'm totally up for a duet! I've been collaborating with an American dude for a while now & am happy to collaborate with others. :)

Jay Noel said...

I LOVE your video. You are fantastic...talented AND funny. Your facial expressions while playing the piano intro. are just priceless.

Small Town Shelly Brown said...

I am hoping that there is a touring company. Once I stepped on jellyfish AND split my pants in Mexico as well. These are the kind of things that make the story so real to me.

Cynthia said...

Very funny! Neat details to include in your memoir if you ever decide to write one.

Nancy LaRonda Johnson said...

Hilarious post. Could almost say TMI! I loved your play. Somehow you make the ordinary seem ... special. Thanks for introducing yourself in such a stylish way. I'm sure your coworker was feeling much better after that.

Melissa said...

Hilarious! I can relate to your car taking off by itself. Once in high school I forgot to put my car in park and my car rolled across the parking lot and ran up onto the curb. The office announced the license plate and I had to go out to re-park my car. I was soooo embarrassed. LOL!

Pk Hrezo said...

Love your creative touch to the blogfest. And you look great on vid! Even with no makeup. Excellent job on the song. I've always wished I could play the piano ... and sing. Call me a Tori Amos wannabe. lol

Fun post!

Mark K said...

Hi Tammy - very entertaining young gal, I'm always a sucker for piano and a lovely voice :)

Yolanda Renee said...

First thing in the morning -- wonderful!

Made me laugh and the day starts off right!

Nice to meet you Tammy!

Christine Rains said...

Ha! Loved this post! It's wonderful to get to know more about you and to gaze longingly at Alcide. Mmmmm....

Shell Flower said...

You had me cracking up through this whole thing. From the sandbox to the ripped pants...wow. Great stories. And that is so cool you live on Whidbey! It's lovely there. You should check out the Bellingham Chuckut Writers Conference in June. It's very affordable and groovy!

Nickie said...

Bravo! Bravo! I do declare, that's the best performance I've seen in years.

But seriously, this was a hilarious way to share more about yourself. Nice to re-meet you and your wonderful sense of humor (and voice! I'm super jealous!)

celeste holloway said...

HAAAAHAAAA! I think I may have tinkled just a little on that one. Better than MADTV, so I'll be coming back on a regular basis to see what other nutty things you have in the works. :)

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

I'm glad that hunk Joe won, but YOU win, too, because this has gotta be the number one "bestest" post for this whole darned blog hop. Love it!

When I clicked on your link, it brought me back to my dashboard, too, so I'm really glad you left a message on my blog this morning so I could get in through the back door.

Hart Johnson said...

Oh, too funny! Very well done! Love that you can make fun of yourself a bit.

Carol Kilgore said...

Great! Loved learning more about you. Oh, and yay Joe :)

meradeth said...

Love it! Totally had me giggling. Nice to meet you!!

Tammy Theriault said...

Thank you to everyone. I've enjoyed all your funny comments back! This is why I love ya's!

klahanie said...

Good gosh, Tammy. Thanks and you know, out of all your adoring fans who left comments, I'm the most starstruck fans of yours! Yay!

Tammy Theriault said...

Wanna play patrick swayze from the movie ghost? ”ditto” (only I say it way cooler because I'm from broadway)

klahanie said...

The ghost's name was "ditto"? You may be from Broadway, but I'm from London's fashionable West End!

There you go, yet another comment and another visit to check on your site meter!

I shall now go back to my not worth reading blog. Goodbye.....

Tammy Theriault said...

My site meter goes bonkers when you are near....

Rachel said...

I laughed out loud. Which brought my curious kids to the room. Which then resulted in, "Eww, Mom!" at the pictures of the half naked man. :) Nice to meet you! I'm a new follower because of our close WA proximity and all.

Tammy Theriault said...

10yrs! I'm from the west side though, ysleta....wasn't that north east? I went to the almighty coronado h.s.

Tammy Theriault said...

Hit me up, I love writing songs!

Tammy Theriault said...

I'm all for groovy things, yes, I'll check it out!

Tammy Theriault said...

I love making you hunt for me...ive been a glitch in the matrix apparently!

Tammy Theriault said...

Don't worry, I'm going to get you back for your facebook post and use this to my advantage...muahaha

Tammy Theriault said...

Too funny! My kids would giggle, too! But they laughed at the video. Apparently they thought mommy was funny....how close are you?

The Golden Eagle said...

So funny! When can I buy tickets?!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Oh my! I did have something to say, but then I saw those hot bods and my mind went blank. *fans self*

Tamara said...

haha...you always leave me laughing. :) I used to live in El Paso as well, and i went dancing in Juarez a couple times! But I never walked over the bridge with ripped pants...you've got me on that one.

And wow. thanks for the pics at the end. I think i'm going to have to scroll back up to look at those again...

Carrie-Anne said...

I'm so glad I never had a computer with a reformat button! It was confusing enough when I accidentally did something to the margins by touching or moving the cursor at the top of the page. It's hard enough reformatting manuscripts I converted from the obsolete file formats I created them on.

Suze said...

Dude, this was. An *adorable* post. I love the acts, I love the video, such a lovely, angel voice and a ton of guts to post it. Singing and playing is super hard to do! (imo)

Seriously, this was a great, great post.

(Love the Border Patrol review.)

Sooo keep being you, Tams. You're a dolly and a star.

Suze said...

(Also, I love the last few seconds of the vid.)

David P. King said...

Someone get Tammy a Tony Award, stat! That was awesome! :)

Morgan said...

Gaaaah... third try to leave this comment...

Hopefully it gets through...

Tammy, you're hilarious...

Love it...

:D

M.L. Swift said...

Okay, Tammy...you're slacking! LOL. I came over for your IWSG post, but this one will do. It's always good to learn more about you. I also lived in SD for ten years - '90-2000. LOVED it, and eventually want to move back.

I'm a big follower of TrueBlood. Haven't missed a season. Did you realize that Alcide (Joe) was the same guy who was the bully on the first Spiderman movie?

That corgi :) said...

thanks for visiting my blog (a bench with a view) and your comment :)

Loved reading this about you; had to laugh that you are handling the bets when your kids fight, too funny!

enjoy the rest of your weekend!

betty