OR the really sweet girl that leaves comments to your blogs…WELL I know her WAAAAAAY different, and I think you'll learn something about her you have NEVER KNOWN!!!
YOU’VE READ IT HERE FIRST!
***P.S. I specifically did this type of interview as a quick creative writing exercise between 2 people…in a “unique” sorta on the spot kinda way, & because I like comedy.
1. WWE just called me. I told them no, I'm kinda busy this week, but I can recommend a friend. What should I tell them your name, character and special move is? Remember, your putting my rep on the line so don't embarrass me, Morgan!
“Er… I had to google WWE… do you mean the wrestling thing? If that’s the case, then definitely “The Morg” … kinda like the Grim Reaper (Wasn’t he a wrestler way back when? Or was it the Undertaker? ßYes, I think that was it!) and my special move would be “The Bed-Maker” … Cuz I’m making opponents lie in their own beds? Get it? “
What? Are you going to tuck them in, too, and sing them a lullaby? Creative juices not flowing or something? Its ok, I’ll call to cancel…geez, Morgan, terrible. Not off to a good start, are we?
2. Yo Gabba Gabba...creepy or educational?
“Holy crap… definitely creepy, but strangely mesmerizing, isn’t it? All those weird creatures… and what’s up with the guy in orange? I think my fav episode is the Elijah Wood one… where he teaches them that dance… Raise your knee, raise your other knee… “I like the one where they teach about not biting. Then I take my kid’s arm in my mouth and say “like this?” definitely freaks the little boogers out.
“Gah! And you call me terrible?”
Well I wouldn’t call you “the Morg”, that’s for sure!
3. Wanna play madlibs? Too late... give me a noun, verb, adjective, pronoun, and verb.
“Madlibs? Off to google it… I’m back… ok, downloading app…I’m back… er… I don’t get it? Do you still want to play?”
This is exactly why you can’t do the wrestling gig! Yes, fine, I’ll still play. I’ll even make it easier for you. Give me a verb and noun. For example, if you gave me the words “sucks” & “game” I would have said “Morgan sucks at this game.”
“*Scratches head* Oh! You mean like “Best” & “Interview” … Like this is the best interview ever??? Nope. I didn’t say that with any sarcasm whatsoever. “
Good. Because if you did, then I would let the bloggers know that you didn’t use a verb but an adverb. But I wouldn’t embarrass you like that, now would I?
“Hmmm? Sorry, I was watching #TVD … I mean, can we say DAMON??? *dies* “
I’m sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit…I’m good. Oh, you want me to say Damon, I mean the Rob Lowe clone, dies? Ok, well, I also heard the whole show dies! Muahahahahahaha… Twilight for life!!
“Er… I’m totally going to pretend you didn’t just say that. And Googling Rob Lowe… Bah! Please. He’s got nothing on Damon. He’s missing the crazzzzy eyes, and the quirky side smile… “
I didn’t know you were referring to Patrick Star on Spongebob. I’m sorry, what did you just whisper back? Did you just say Twilight is better but you didn’t want to admit it? It’s ok. *pets Morgan’s hair* It’s ok.
5. So, after hanging up the phone with WWE, the circus called me. I know, but I needed the extra money, don't ask. Anyways, I'm already booked at Gypsy's R Us...don't ask on that one either. Can you fill in for me? What should I tell them your act will be?
“Haha! That I can do. Actually, can my hubby fill in? He actually performed with Cirque de Soleil in Vegas and helped them create a show in Montreal… I’m serious. He’s kinda this pro rock climber and did this number with a rotating rock wall… “
Alright, I’ll make the call back. This will make up for the WWE bologna you just pulled. You have redeemed yourself. By the way, I told them you’ll be throwing knives at him while it’s rotating. Good luck!
“… -_- …“
6. Can I show our blogosphere, (I don't know, I think it could be square. Columbus is overrated), ok, blogosquare your "crazy leg" pose from your photos? Too late...just posted it. Any thoughts you might wanna add to that, and no the delete button doesn't work on it.
“Gah! Put that pic away! So I get a little crazy at conferences. And where did you—oh. Crap. I need to be more careful with what I post online… And whoa, whoa, wait… let’s get back to this Columbus thing. Are you serious? You do realize there are scientists and stuff that know the earth is round… “
Scientist need to be a little more careful; they could fall doing these studies. Not smart. P.S. Morgan, they make globes round because if it were square it would poke people as it spun, which is a liability. I like spinning my real globe, a square one, standing close, and letting it scratch my back for me.
“*Pats Tammy on the back* Whatever you say, dear. And Damon does look like Rob Lowe. “
Ouch! Don’t touch my back! I stood too close to my globe and it hurts! See? I told you that’s why they don’t make them square! And Damon does look like Patrick…*cue Patrick’s “duh” look now*
7. Spell icup out loud...no, it's not a trick; it's a writing practice thingy....just do it.
“*shakes head* …unless you’re talking about the new icup that Apple has developed? I hear it has the technology of refilling your cup automatically… “
What are they filling it with? Oh my gosh…gross, Morgan!!! Gross! I was talking about the new drug tests…wow, you need to do what you do best and Google that. Just sick.
“Haha! *breaks character* Now I’m really laughing… “
Are you going to pee your pants laughing, because if you are… I-C-U-P!!!!!
8. I'm giving you $10, ok, maybe it came from your purse but it's the thought that counts. Go get some fast food. What are you buying and from where? And do I get to keep the change?
“First of all, there’s no way you found $10 in my purse. Who has that kind of cash? And second… Oh! Did you see that sign for IN-N-Out? Pull over! “
No, I didn’t see the sign…but I did see a sign for a bank. P.S. again…that was actually my money. I put it in so I could make it look like you were doing something for me for once because a) I had to cancel your gig with WWE and b) you had your husband do your dirty work for the circus. Terrible…
9. Here. I found this box. Open it. What's inside? And if its money can I keep it since you technically owe me $10?
“*Chokes on my IN-N-OUT shake* Are you serious? You do realize my pro wrestling name is “The Morg” AND my hubs was in the circus, AND I’m a googling guru. You don’t want to mess with my $10…”
Say what? Remember, I know how to do the a-b-c thing. a) you’ll never wrestle in this town little lady! b) this isn’t “Water for Elephants”, circuses are not brag-able leverage and c) google “Tammy makes a phone call…”
“*Googles* Oh! Look what I found. Circuses are brag-able leverage. Ha! Two out of Three, sister! “
Don’t you DARE claim relation to me you “circus freak!” Ok, my bad, that was a bit harsh… wanna hug it out? *takes the $10 from her back pocket while hugging*
10. You just got arrested and have assumed the position against the cop car. What did you do this time as I laugh, point, take photos, and upload them to my blog to tell people why you won't be blogging for a while?
“You really have to ask me? Er… Did you forget about the $10??? It was YOUR house I broke into to get my money back and YOU who called the cops on me… “
Um…let’s change the subject. Your face is turning red…moving on to question 11. Holy crap, is that steam coming off your head? Let’s move on…LET’S MOVE ON…PUT THE HANDCUFFS ON HER, SHE’S COMING TOWARDS ME!
11. My dad once said when I burnt dinner that I must be religious because I was giving burnt offerings. So, I'm coming to your house tonight. Whatcha making me?
“You put me in jail and now you want me to make you dinner??? *shakes head* I think this interview is over… “
Wow, you couldn’t even offer me chum? That’s just rude… Hey Morgan? Your shoes are untied…TRICKED YOU…they don’t allow laces in jail! BURN!
12. Last question, and I want to get serious on this one. I think this one will be a tearjerker. Grab your tissue box, have a seat, and inhale/exhale...ok...are you 2 legit, 2 legit to quit? (please insert hand motions here)
“Haha! Okay. We can be best friends again. Anything that involves busting a move to Hammer is my soft spot. Can you crank up the music? “
I found the keys! I’m breaking you out, Morgan! Now…let’s go find some cardboard and breakdance in our McHammer parachute pants. Oh yeah, oh yeah, go Morgan, go Morgan!
“Sweeeet. Not only did I survive this interview, I survived jail, finding out I’m not meant for the WWE, and apparently stink at madlibs. Hmmm… not doing much for my self esteem, Tammy…;-) “
Don’t forget what else we learned today… you’re apparently infatuated with Patrick from Spongebob, you’re very stingy with your money, you believe everything scientist say, you wasted a good milk shake, and you peed your pants. Yep, you’re right! Not much going for your self-esteem! Now I’m going to award you a special:
“I SURVIVED MY INTERVIEW WITH TAMMY THERIAULT badge!!!
*Enjoyed the interview? Think you have what it takes to complete the quickwit exercise & earn your badge? Let me know if you'd like a turn! email me at firstname.lastname@example.org