So what have I let go? Other than 4 babies from my belly, a contract to be a supermodel, a deal to be on a famous TV series about 6 friends living in New York (I really shouldn't have passed that one up...), and performing live at Madison Square Garden? (ok, only one of those are true :)~ ) Well, actually, an identity that wasn't me!
Sounds creepy and stockerish doesn't it? But, it's all true, minus the sickly visual of a man hiding in the treehouse looking at me doing my 99th brush of my hair. I'm sure all of us go through the moment, not the treehouse! We think it's time to let go, time to be someone we aren't. That was me straight out of high school.
For ten years I was someone I wasn't. I did things, I knew were not the right course for me. It ranged from all the bad things you can think of that happens when you go clubbing almost nightly to parties when your an army wife. Nothing was untouched, I guess you could say, other then everything I grew up knowing. My integrity, my self worth, on and on. Then one day when my life seemed to be at it's lowest, it dawned on me, "I liked myself better when I was going to church." So, that's what I did. I literally left behind that life, including the husband that came with it, and moved on to change to where I am now.
(sailing with my son)
I don't regret ANYTHING I went through. It will help me with raising my kids through those tough teenage years, because I've done those terrible things they do. It will help me with friends, as they battle their own wars and come for advice, and I can say I'm not speaking from inexperience. It helps me to be more understanding of people's hardships and more patient with imperfections in people. And it helps me the MOST to appreciate being the person that works on following "the correct path", and enjoys the journey. This is me now, and I have let go.
****ON A BRIGHTER NOTE: HEALTHY WRITING CLUB UPDATE***
What a fat burning pill it is to try to get time to go to the gym. Grrrr... I use to go four times a week at 8pm doing my Crossfit workouts, but I found I was rushing kids to bed just to do so. I gave it up, wish I could say 10lbs, but no, going to the gym late. Last week, with a friend's suggestion, I went at the butt crack of dawn for two days at 6:30am. Ouch! It hurt, but was so worth it. It gave me time to be with the kids at bedtime doing stories again, and to be with my husband. Then I go running the two other days. Score, something that works! "Oh, Happy Day...."
(yeah, crossfit hurts!)